_After a long and uneasy pause_ THE BRIDE _comes in from the Anesthetic Room on the arm of her_ FATHER, _with_ THE FOUR BRIDESMAIDS _following by twos. She is dressed in what appears to be white linen, with a long veil of aseptic gauze. The gauze testifies to its late and careful sterilization by yellowish scorches. There is a white rubber glove upon_ THE BRIDE'S _right hand, but that belonging to her left hand has been removed_. HER FATHER _is dressed like_ THE BEST MAN. THE FOUR BRIDESMAIDS _are in the garb of surgical nurses, with their hair completely concealed by turbans of gauze. As_ THE BRIDE _takes her place before_ THE CLERGYMAN, _with_ THE BRIDEGROOM _at her right, there is a faint, snuffling murmur among the spectators. It hushes suddenly as_ THE CLERGYMAN _clears his throat_. THE CLERGYMAN (_In sonorous, booming tones, somewhat muffled by his respirator._) Dearly beloved, we are gathered here together in the face of this company to join together this man and this woman in holy matrimony, which is commended by God to be honorable among men, and therefore is not to be entered into inadvisedly or carelessly, or without due surgical precautions, but reverently, cleanly, sterilely, soberly, scientifically, and with the nearest practicable approach to bacteriological purity. Into this laudable and non-infectious state these two persons present come now to be joined and quarantined. If any man can show just cause, either clinically or microscopically, why they may not be safely sutured together, let him now come forward with his charts, slides and cultures, or else hereafter forever hold his peace. (_Several spectators shuffle their feet, and an old maid giggles, but no one comes forward._) THE CLERGYMAN (_To_ THE BRIDE _and_ BRIDEGROOM): I require and charge both of you, as ye will answer in the dreadful hour of autopsy, when the secrets of all lives shall be disclosed, that if either of you know of any lesion, infection, malaise, congenital defect, hereditary taint or other impediment, why ye may not be lawfully joined together in eugenic matrimony, ye do now confess it. For be ye well assured that if any persons are joined together otherwise than in a state of absolute chemical and bacteriological innocence, their marriage will be septic, unhygienic, pathogenic and toxic, and eugenically null and void. (THE BRIDEGROOM _hands over a long envelope, from which_ THE CLERGYMAN _extracts a paper bearing a large red seal._) THE CLERGYMAN