Adultery -- Fiction; French fiction -- 19th century
She knew by hearsay that men usually despise women when they have
nothing more to obtain from them. But her Armand was not like the rest,
since he had lavished upon her his most caressing kisses after their
common ecstacy. "I was there," she reflected; "it was when I had left
that he judged me. Judged?--and how? I deceived for his sake, but still
I deceived." Then once more she saw him, full of such tender passion,
that she fell asleep with a smile at his image, and at the thought:
"I shall see him to-morrow."
It was at the Théâtre des Variétés that they were to spend together
that second evening whose hours were to Helen sweet of the sweet--the
only truly rapturous ones of those sad loves. As soon as she awoke, she
had written her lover an interminable letter, and just as she was about
to send it, she had received from the young man, who for once was
faithless to his principles, an almost coaxing note. The nervous emotion
of the night before had lost its keenness in her, leaving behind it an
acuter susceptibility of heart with which to enjoy desired things with
more of inward thrilling. Chance willed it that Alfred should breakfast
away from home, and thanks to his absence the cruel impressions of the
previous evening were not renewed. Thus, when she arrived at the door of
the little stage-box in the theatre, she was in that delicious state of
soul in which there is, as it were, an inward voice that sings. At such
moments everything soothes, just as at others everything wounds.
It was nine o'clock. Helen was standing then in the passage, and while
the attendant was relieving her of her cloak she did not venture to ask
whether there was anyone already in the box. The door was opened, her
heart throbbed, and she perceived Armand rising to greet her. How she
loved him for having got there before herself and her husband. Once
seated, she at last ventured, after a few minutes, to look at him. He
appeared to her to be rather pale, and she felt some anxiety about it;
but he had such eyes as on his good days, those which rekindled all her
soul, and not those others whose mystery terrified her. What piece were
they playing on the stage? She could hear the music of the orchestra,
the voices of the actors, the applause; but the interest of the play
turned with her upon knowing whether Alfred would leave the box at the
next interval. The curtain fell. Her happy destiny willed it
that there should be a family of their acquaintance in the house.
Her husband went off to speak to these ladies. She was alone with her
beloved--alone!--and turning towards him she asked:
"Are you in love with me to-day?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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