United States -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
"I hardly know how to write to you," he wrote. "Your generous faith in
me in spite of everything is more than I had any right to expect, and
more, I think, than you have any right, in justice to yourself, to give
me. I thank you for it right heartily, but I feel that I must not accept
it. When you listened to my words of love and gave them a place in your
heart, I was a gentleman without reproach. Now a stain is upon my name,
which I can never remove. The man to whom you promised your hand was not
the absconding debtor who writes you this from a jail. I send this
letter, therefore, to offer you a release from your engagement with me,
if indeed any release be necessary. You cannot afford to know me or even
to remember me hereafter. Forget me, then, or, if you cannot wholly
forget, remember me only as an adventurer, who for a paltry sum sold his
good name.
"Good-by. I wish you well with all my heart."
As he sealed these letters Robert felt that his hopes for the future
were sealed up with them, and that the post which should bear them away
would carry with it the better part of his life. And yet he did not
wholly surrender himself to despair, as a weaker man might have done.
The old life was gone from him forever. The only people whom he had
known as in any sense his own would grasp his hand no more, and if they
ever thought of him again it would be only to regret that they had known
him at all. All this he felt keenly, but it did not follow that he
should abandon himself, as a consequence. He was still a young man, and
there was time enough for him to make a new life for himself--to find
new friends and to do some worthy work in the world; and to the planning
of this new life he at once addressed himself.
He would teach no longer, and now that he had cut himself loose from
that profession there was opportunity to do something at the business
which he had found so agreeable of late. He would devote himself
hereafter wholly to writing, and at the first opportunity he would
become a regular member of the staff of some paper. Even if his earnings
with his pen should prove small, what did that matter? He could never
think of marrying now, and a very little would suffice to supply all his
wants, his habits of life being simple and regular. It stung him when he
remembered that there was a stain upon his name which could never be
removed; but that, he knew, he must bear, and so he resolved to bear it
bravely, as it becomes a man to bear all his burdens.
With thoughts like these the stalwart young fellow sank to sleep on the
bed assigned him in the jail.
CHAPTER XXV.
_In which Miss Sudie Acts very Unreasonably._
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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