Ely listened, but made no reply. Worn out by the terrible emotion of her
confidence on the previous night, she had no strength left to resist the
tender suggestions which appealed to her love itself, to struggle
against her love. There is, in fact, in these complete passions an
instinctive and violent desire for extreme resolutions. When these
sentiments cannot find satisfaction in perfect happiness, they obtain a
kind of grateful relief in their absolute frustration. Filling our soul
to the exclusion of all else, they bear it incessantly to one or the
other of the two poles, ecstasy and despair, without resting for a
moment between them. Having come to this stage of her passion, it
followed of necessity, as Louise Brion had clearly seen, that the
Baroness Ely should either become the young man's mistress, or that she
should put between herself and him the insurmountable barrier of a
separation before the _liaison_--secret romance of so many women, both
virtuous and otherwise. Yes! how many women have thus, in a delirium of
renouncement, dug an abyss between them and a secretly idolized being,
who never suspects this idolatry or this immolation. To the innocent
ones, the anticipation of the remorse which would follow their fault
gives the requisite energy; the others, the culpable, feel, as Madame de
Carlsberg felt so strongly, the inability to efface the past, and they
prefer the exalted martyrdom of sacrifice to the intolerable bitterness
of a joy forever poisoned by the atrocious jealousy of that
indestructible past.
Another influence aided in overcoming the young woman's spirit of
revolt. Stranger as she was to all religious faith, she did not, like
her pious friend, attach anything providential to this commonplace
accident,--a newspaper account of a diplomatist's voyage,--but had
acquired, through her very incredulity, that unconscious fatalism which
is the last superstition of the sceptic. The sight of these fine printed
syllables, "Olivier du Prat," a few hours after the night's
conversation, had filled her with that feeling of presentiment, harder
to brave than real danger for certain natures, like hers, made up of
decision and action.
"You are right," she answered, in the broken accent of an irremediable
renunciation, "I will see him, I will speak to him, and all will be
finished forever."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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