_Cank._ Pray what does your Ladyship think of his Ladder of Ropes? _Lady._ Why lookee, Mr. Canker, he may have transgressed probability by it, I grant you--but I will forgive an Author such Transgressions at any time when it is productive of so much Mirth. _Heart._ Judiciously observed, my Lady. _Trif._ Well, by gad, I like the Ladder of Ropes of all things. _Sir Pat._ Upon my Honour so do I. _Nib._ Well, I vow I think they are vastly absurd. Pray what do you think, Miss Harriet? _Har._ I think it is a very simple and a very probable Machine, and productive of many happy Incidents, every one of which naturall[y] arise[s] out of each other, and have this peculiar Beauty, which other Incidents upon the Stage have not, that each of them begins with a Surprize that raises your Anxiety and ends with a turn the least unexpected, which could you have foreseen, would have been what you would have wished. _Lady._ Very nicely distinguished, Harriet; I protest that is the greatest Encomium I have heard of the Play yet. _Heart._ And the justest, Madam. _Cank._ O intolerable! Monstrous! Shocking! Such Ignorance! (_Aside_) Pray Madam, not to mention the improbability, where was the Necessity for a Ladder of Ropes? _Sir Pat._ What Necessity? Arra why do you ask such a foolish Question? I'll tell you what Necessity--Why it was put there for the young Man, the Templer, to go up Stairs into the House. _Omnes._ Ha, ha, ha, ha! _Heart._ Very well explained, Sir Patrick; it is a proper Answer. _Cank._ But pray, Ladies--I speak to you in particular, who best know the Nature of the Question I am going to ask--how can you justify the impoliteness of making Clarinda, a Lady of Fashion and Fortune, in full dress trudge the streets at twelve o'Clock at Night in Contradiction to all Reason, Probability, and Politeness? _Sir Pat._ Poo, poo! That's foolish now. Why what has a Stage Play to do with Reason and Probability? If a Tragedy makes you laugh and a Comedy makes you cry, as Mr. Heartly said just now, what would you have more? _Omnes._ Ha, ha, ha. _Sir Pat._ And as to the young Lady's going home a Foot, that is easily answered. You are to suppose it was a rainy Night and that she walked home to save Chair hire, because there was never a Coach to be had. _Omnes._ Ha, ha, ha. _Sir Pat._ I am sure it is very natural to walk. I have done so a hundred times. _Omnes._ Ha, ha, ha. _Trif._ My dear Sir Patrick, give me your Hand! Thou art the top Critick of the Age, let me perish. _Nib._ Ignorant Wretches! _Cank._ Was ever Man so tortured with such Fools! (_Aside_)--I hope, Mr. Heartly, you will not offer to vindicate the Dialogue. There is not one Attempt to Wit all through the Play, but that about the Gravestone; the Characters all speak like People in common Conversation. _Heart._ I thought that was a Beauty, Mr. Canker. _Cank._ Yes just as barrenness is in Land. Don't you see, Sir, what Whicherly and Congreve have done in their Comedies?