Hungary -- History -- Revolution, 1918-1919 -- Personal narratives; Tormay, Cécile, 1876-1937 -- Diaries
“Have you taken leave of your senses? You know it won’t take you an hour
to carry the whole lot in.”
“Well, if it doesn’t suit you, carry it yourself,” and they laughed
sardonically. “You’ll have to come to us in the end,” one of them added.
Then they sat down on the edge of the ditch opposite the gate, lit their
pipes and looked on maliciously to see what I would do next. I turned
my back on them, picked up a log and dragged it into the yard. The men
sat and looked on. I had to go in and out a good many times, and was
soon panting with the unusual exertion; my hands got wet and sore with
the damp wood. Then suddenly my sister’s children appeared. They got two
poles and we carried the logs in on the improvised stretcher. On the
road two little boys and a girl came strolling towards the farm. They
stopped, looked on for a while, and then they too joined us. Now the work
proceeded fast, and within an hour the wood was all stacked in the yard.
While we worked the two men sat on the edge of the ditch opposite,
smoked, spat, and addressed provoking remarks at us. When I closed the
gate I could not resist shouting across to them: “Good of you to have
stayed here. At least you saw of what mettle we are made. We managed your
job although you couldn’t manage ours.”
The log-pulling tired me out—and that did me good. For fatigue softened
my troubles, and when I went to bed I fell asleep at once. But I must
have slept only a short time, for suddenly I dreamt that somebody was
standing in front of my window and knocking. In the semi-consciousness
of awakening I listened. My room was on the first floor. I jumped up.
Violent shooting was going on near the house and the windows rattled in
their frames. Then a long appalling howl rent the night, steps ran down
the hillside, and everything lapsed into silence.
I lay awake for a long time. A curious light came through the latticework
of my blinds which overlooked a piece of waste ground. I listened. There
were steps in the neighbourhood. Something was happening out there.
Should I go and see?... I hesitated for some time. My limbs were heavy
with fatigue. Then at last I went stealthily to the window. Soldiers were
standing in front of the empty villa which stood next to ours and were
supporting a hatless man who seemed to be wounded or insensible. A small
shrivelled form held an electric torch in its hand and fumbled with the
lock of the door. The shadow which he cast on the white wall was like
that of a hunch-backed cat. The door opened and they all went in.
My first thought was “I must telephone to the police!” Then I realized
that even that impulse belonged to the past. What good would it be? There
is nobody who can maintain order. I thought of the fugitives in our
woods. The country was swarming with deserters, released convicts, small
bands of burglars. We shall have to get used to it—we shall have to get
used to many things.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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