An Unofficial PatriotGardener, Helen H. (Helen Hamilton)
History
An Unofficial Patriot
Gardener, Helen H. (Helen Hamilton)
United States -- History -- Civil War, 1861-1865 -- Fiction
He did not hear his son's reply. It came suddenly to his mind that this
boy of his was almost exactly the age that he had been when he had tried
to argue his own case with the old Major. It rushed into his thoughts
how hard it had been to approach the topic nearest his heart, and how
cruelly it had all ended. He realized, as he often did these days,
how boyish and immature he must have seemed to his father, and yet how
tragically old he had felt to himself. He wondered if Beverly felt that
way now. He began to realize that the boy was still talking, arguing and
planning, although he had not heard.
"Bev," he said, gently, using the abbreviation instinctively to make
the boy feel the tenderness of his intent--"Bev, I don't intend to argue
this thing with you at all."
Beverly had misunderstood his father's long silence and abstraction. The
remark confirmed his misconception. He arose, disappointed, and started
for the door. Griffith reached out, caught him by the sleeve, and pulled
him into a chair beside his own.
"I want to tell you something, Bev. When I was about your age--maybe a
little younger--
"I made a request of my father that it had cost me a sore trial to make
up my mind to ask. He--well, he didn't take it kindly, and--and--and I
left home in a huff; not exactly a huff, either; but, to tell the truth,
we succeeded in hurting each other sorely. And there wasn't the least
need of it. It took us both a long time to get over the hurt of it.
I sometimes doubt if we ever did get really all over it. I tell you,
Beverly, boy, it was a sad, sad blunder all around. It darkened and
dampened my spirits for many a day, and I don't doubt it did his."
Griffith was playing idly with a paper-knife on the table beside him,
and there came a pause and a far-off look in his eyes.
"Oh, father, don't fancy I feel that way--I--don't--I wouldn't
think----" began Beverly, eagerly, with a suspicious quaver in his
voice. To hide it, he arose suddenly.
"Sit down, son," said Griffith, smiling at the boy and taking the hand
that rested on the table. It was cold. He dropped the paper-knife and
laid his other hand over his son's. "Beverly, you didn't understand me,
I reckon"--he threw one arm about the boy's shoulders--"I reckon you
didn't understand me. I meant to say this: I still think my father was
wrong. Now, if I can help it, I don't want the time to ever come, that
when you recall your first independent effort with me, you will think
that of me. I've always intended to try to remember, when that time
came, to put myself in your place, and recall my own early struggles--be
nineteen again myself. We will all hate to have you go so far away. That
will be the hardest part for mother and for all of us; but if you have,
thought it all over seriously----"
"I have, indeed, father--for months and months. It----"
"Why, all there is to do is for me to look into the matter and get
that stock for you, and see how we can make the change as easy as
possible--as----"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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