Black humor; City and town life -- Fiction; Intellectuals -- Fiction; London (England) -- Fiction; Satire
“What’s appalling?” Shearwater inquired. He walked with his big head
bowed, his hands clasped behind his back and clutching his hat; walked
clumsily, with sudden lurches of his whole massive anatomy. Wherever he
was, Shearwater always seemed to take up the space that two or three
ordinary people would normally occupy. Cool fingers of wind passed
refreshingly through his hair. He was thinking of the experiment he
meant to try, in the next few days, down at the physiological
laboratory. You’d put a man on an ergometer in a heated chamber and set
him to work—hours at a time. He’d sweat, of course, prodigiously. You’d
make arrangements for collecting the sweat, weighing it, analysing it
and so on. The interesting thing would be to see what happened at the
end of a few days. The man would have got rid of so much of his salts,
that the blood composition might be altered and all sorts of delightful
consequences might follow. It ought to be a capital experiment.
Gumbril’s exclamation disturbed him. “What’s appalling?” he asked rather
irritably.
“Those people at the coffee-stall,” Gumbril answered. “It’s appalling
that human beings should have to live like that. Worse than dogs.”
“Dogs have nothing to complain of.” Shearwater went off at a tangent.
“Nor guinea-pigs, nor rats. It’s these blasted anti-vivisection maniacs
who make all the fuss.”
“But think,” cried Gumbril, “what these wretched people have had to
suffer! Walking all the way to Portsmouth in search of work; and the
woman with child. It’s horrifying. And then, the way people of that
class are habitually treated. One has no idea of it until one has
actually been treated that way oneself. In the war, for example, when
one went to have one’s mitral murmurs listened to by the medical
board—they treated one then as though one belonged to the lower orders,
like all the rest of the poor wretches. It was a real eye-opener. One
felt like a cow being got into a train. And to think that the majority
of one’s fellow-beings pass their whole lives being shoved about like
maltreated animals!”
“H’m,” said Shearwater. If you went on sweating indefinitely, he
supposed, you would end by dying.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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