German fiction -- Translations into English; Holy Roman Empire -- History -- Charles V, 1519-1556 -- Fiction
While he was learning the German language the name “Friend Hein,”
which he heard applied to death, perplexed him; now he thought that he
understood it, for the man with the scythe wore to him also the face of
a friend, who when the time had come would not keep him waiting long. As
he thought of his wife, of whose death this day was the anniversary, he
felt inclined to envy her. What he had lost by her decease seemed very
little to others who were aware of the long periods of time during
which, separated from each other, they had gone their own ways; but he
knew that it was more than they supposed, for with Isabella he had lost
the certainty that the sincere, nay, perhaps affectionate interest of a
being united to him by the sacrament of marriage accompanied his every
step.
His pleasure in life had withered with the growth of the harsh
conviction that he was no longer loved by any one for his own sake.
In this chamber, draped with sable hangings, his own heart seemed dead,
like dry wood from which only a miracle could lure green leafage again.
With the only real pity which was at his command, compassion on himself,
he rose from the kneeling posture which had become unbearable.
With difficulty he sank into the arm-chair which stood ready for him,
and, panting for breath, asked himself whether every joy had indeed
vanished. No!
Music still stirred his benumbed heart to swifter throbbing. He thought
of the pleasure which the previous evening had afforded, and suddenly
it seemed as if he again heard the “Quia amore langueo”--“Because I long
for love”--that had touched his soul the day before.
Yes, he, too, still longed for love, for a different, a warmer feeling
than the lukewarm blood of his royal mother had bestowed upon her
children, or the devotion of the sister to whom the chase was dearer
than aught else, certainly than his society.
But such thoughts did not befit this room, which was consecrated to
serious reflections. The anniversary summoned him to far different
feelings. Yet, powerfully as he resisted them, his awakened senses
continued to demand their rights, and, while he closed his eyes and
pressed his brow against the base of the altar covered with black cloth,
changeful images of happier days rose before him. He, too, had rejoiced
in a vigorous, strong, and pliant body. In the jousts he had been
sure of victory over even dreaded opponents; as a bull-fighter he had
excelled the matador; as a skilful participant in riding at the ring, as
well as a tireless hunter, he had scarcely found his equal. In the prime
of his youth the hearts of many fair women had throbbed warmly for him,
but he had been fastidious. Yet where he had aimed at victory, he had
rarely failed.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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