Jellypod had developed into considerable of a martinet even before
he ceased to be a recruit and blossomed forth as a “duty-soldier.”
There was not an officer in the regiment who had so keen an eye for
specks of rust in that awkward cranny at the back of a big bit, as it
hung with specious resplendency between the burnished stirrup-irons.
Trouble was no object to Jellypod in his quest after evidences of the
dragoon’s perfunctoriness. He was the first officer in the British
cavalry--ex-rankers in a bad temper excepted--to unfasten a buckle
in order to ascertain whether that recondite crevice at the root of
the tongue was free from rust. The men of his troop rejoiced to see
him cured of the practice of searching for scurf in the tails of
horses shown out to be passed as clean, by a kick on the knee which he
received from Tom Maguire’s vicious chestnut mare. With all this bustle
of thoroughness, Jellypod had no intention of posing as a tartar; he
was simply full of exuberant zeal to do his duty to the extremest
tittle. But he got himself, all the same, heartily disliked and a good
deal despised. You see he was in such a hurry to be critical that he
had not always acquainted himself with the right names of things. The
whole stable burst into a roar of involuntary laughter once, when he
spoke of a crupper as a “breeching”; and he “mulled it” severely on
another occasion when he spoke of a horse’s “left foot.”
He was such a glutton for work that he was always ready to take “the
belt” for another officer; I have known him orderly officer for a week
on end, and he performed the duties of the “orderly” function in the
most thorough manner. He would “take the guard” twice in the course
of a night, and never omitted to make the round of the sentries with
the corporal. So full of zeal was he that when living for a while in
barracks during the absence of his wife at the seaside, he began the
reprehensible practice of sneaking stealthily round the posts in order
to detect any sentry who might be indulging in a few winks. He found it
advisable, however, speedily to desist from this species of enterprise,
because of an unpleasant experience he met with. Approaching a sentry,
he had bidden him “give up his orders.” Now the orders to sentries are
that they are to give up their orders to nobody unless accompanied by
the non-commissioned officer of the guard; and the sentry refused.
Jellypod, bent on testing the soldier’s knowledge of and fidelity to
his orders, announced himself an officer and repeated his demand. The
soldier recognised him, and saw his way to make reprisals on this man
who pried by day into the tongues of buckles, and by night went on the
prowl to trip up sentries.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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