Blackwood's Edinburgh Magazine, Vol. 66 No.406, August 1849Various
General
Blackwood's Edinburgh Magazine, Vol. 66 No.406, August 1849
Various
England -- Periodicals; Scotland -- Periodicals
"But," said Vivian, pursuing his tale, "but when you came to my aid,
not knowing me--when you relieved me--when from your own lips, for
the first time, I heard words that praised me, and for qualities that
implied I might yet be 'worth much.'--Ah! (he added mournfully,) I
remember the very words--a new light broke upon me--struggling and dim,
but light still. The ambition with which I had sought the truckling
Frenchman revived, and took worthier and more definite form. I would
lift myself above the mire, make a name, rise in life!"
Vivian's head drooped, but he raised it quickly, and laughed--his
low mocking laugh. What follows of his tale may be told succinctly.
Retaining his bitter feelings towards his father, he resolved to
continue his incognito--he gave himself a name likely to mislead
conjecture, if I conversed of him to my family, since he knew that
Roland was aware that a Colonel Vivian had been afflicted by a runaway
son--and, indeed, the talk upon that subject had first put the notion
of flight into his own head. He caught at the idea of becoming known to
Trevanion; but he saw reasons to forbid his being indebted to me for
the introduction--to forbid my knowing where he was: sooner or later,
that knowledge could scarcely fail to end in the discovery of his real
name. Fortunately, as he deemed, for the plans he began to meditate,
we were all leaving London--he should have the stage to himself. And
then boldly he resolved upon what he regarded as the master scheme of
life--viz., to obtain a small pecuniary independence, and to emancipate
himself formally and entirely from his father's control. Aware of poor
Roland's chivalrous reverence for his name, firmly persuaded that
Roland had no love for the son, but only the dread that the son might
disgrace him, he determined to avail himself of his father's prejudices
in order to effect his purpose.
He wrote a short letter to Roland, (that letter which had given the
poor man so sanguine a joy--that letter after reading which he had said
to Blanche, "Pray for me,") stating simply, that he wished to see his
father; and naming a tavern in the city for the meeting.
The interview took place. And when Roland, love and forgiveness in
his heart--but (who shall blame him?) dignity on his brow, and rebuke
in his eye--approached, ready at a word to fling himself on the boy's
breast, Vivian, seeing only the outer signs, and interpreting them by
his own sentiments--recoiled; folded his arms on his bosom, and said
coldly, "Spare me reproach, sir--it is unavailing. I seek you only to
propose that you shall save your name, and resign your son."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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