Great Britain -- Politics and government -- 1800-1837 -- Fiction; Historical fiction; Political fiction
“Lady Lansdowne!” There were both anger and pain in his voice as he
halted and stood before her. “Why do you come to me? Why do you trouble
me? Why? Is it because you feel yourself—responsible? Because you know,
because you feel, that but for you my home had not been left to me
desolate? Nor a foolish life been ruined?”
“God forbid!” she said solemnly. And in her turn she rose in agitation;
moved for once out of the gracious ease and self-possession of her
life, so that in the contrast there was something unexpected and
touching. “God forbid!” she repeated. “But because I feel that I might
have done more. Because I feel that a word from me might have checked
her, and it was not spoken. True, I was young, and it might have made
things worse—I do not know. But when I saw her face at the window
yesterday—and she was changed, Sir Robert—I felt that I might have been
in her place, and she in mine!” Her voice trembled. “I might have been
lonely, childless, growing old; and alone! Or again, if I had done
something, if I had spoken as I would have another speak, were the case
my girl’s, she might have been as I am! Now,” she added tremulously,
“you know why I came. Why I plead for her! In our world we grow hard,
very hard; but there are things which touch us still, and her face
touched me yesterday—I remembered what she was.” She paused a moment,
and then, “After long years,” she continued softly, “it cannot be hard
to forgive; and there is still time. She did nothing that need close
your door, and what she did is forgotten. Grant that she was foolish,
grant that she was wild, indiscreet, what you will—she is alone now,
alone and growing old, Sir Robert, and if not for her sake, for the
sake of your dead child——”
He stopped her by a peremptory gesture, but for the moment he seemed
unable to speak. At length, “You touch the wrong chord,” he said
hoarsely. “It is for the sake of my dead child I shall never, never
forgive her! She knew that I loved it. She knew that it was all to me.
It grew worse! Did she tell me? It was in danger; did she warn me? No!
But when I heard of her disobedience, of her folly, of things which
made her a byword, and I bade her return, or my house should no longer
be her home, then, then she flung the news of the child’s death at me,
and rejoiced that she had it to fling. Had I gone out then and found
her in the midst of her wicked gaiety, God knows what I should have
done! I did try to go. But the Hundred Days had begun, I had to return.
Had I gone, and learned that in her mad infatuation she had neglected
the child, left it to servants, let it fade, I think—I think, Madam, I
should have killed her!”
Lady Lansdowne raised her hands. “Hush! Hush!” she said.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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