_He_ was not happy. He had no aim, no motive. The zest with which he
read the papers when he was a merchant, he had lost now he had ceased
to be engaged in commerce. A storm, a fleet, a pestilence along the
Mediterranean shores, was full of interest to him before, because he
had investments there. Now, they were of no consequence to him. The
views and aims of government were watched by him before with searching
scrutiny, because his destiny was bound up with theirs. The
parliamentary debates were of the greatest consequence before, as
indicating British policy; but that to him now ceased to be an object
of importance. His fortune was achieved, his course was run, his
destiny fulfilled.
Soon, every thing and place appeared to him one uniform and universal
blank. His beautiful apartments were unused, his carriage and horses
unemployed, his books unread, his papers unopened, his meals untasted,
and his clothes unworn. He had lost all enjoyment of life, and
contemplated suicide.
Saturday night arrived, and he resolved on Sunday morning early,
before the busy populace were stirring, he would make his way to
Waterloo bridge and jump into the river, or tumble off.
At three o'clock, he set out on his final expedition, and had nearly
reached the bridge, the shadows of the night protecting him from
observation, when a figure stood before him. Amazed at being seen by
any one, he turned out of the path, when the figure crouching low
before him, revealed a tattered, miserable man, baring his head in
abjectness.
"What are you doing here?" inquired the retired merchant.
"I have a wife and family, whom I can't help from starving, and I am
afraid to go and see them. Last night I knew they would be turned into
the streets," replied the man.
"Take that," replied the merchant, giving him his purse, with gold and
silver in it--thinking to himself, "how much more useful this will be
to him, than in my pockets in the water."
"God bless you, sir--God bless you, sir," exclaimed the man several
times, kneeling before the astonished merchant.
"Stop," said the merchant, "do not overwhelm me so with your
thanksgivings--but tell me where you live."
"In Lambeth, sir."
"Then why are you _here_ this morning?" said the merchant.
"I do not like to tell you," said the man. "I am ashamed to tell a
gentleman like you."
"Why so?" replied the merchant.
"Well, sir," replied the man, "as I had not a single penny, and did
not know how to get one, I came here to drown myself, although I knew
't was wicked!"
The merchant was astonished and appalled, and after a long silence,
said, "Sir, I am overwhelmed with wealth, and yet I am so miserable
that I came here this morning for the same purpose as yourself.
There's something more in this than I can understand at present. Let
me go with you to see your family."
The man made every excuse to hinder the merchant, but he would go.
"Have you lost your character?" said the merchant.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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