Conrad in Quest of His Youth: An Extravagance of TemperamentMerrick, Leonard
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Conrad in Quest of His Youth: An Extravagance of Temperament
Merrick, Leonard
Theater -- Great Britain -- Fiction
But it was with thanksgiving he heard that Miss McGuire had said she
wished he would apologise; she had forbidden him to address her. He
followed her from the dining-room, and begged her pardon in the hall.
She replied: "You're a nice boy really; I'm so glad you've said you're
sorry." He wanted to tell her that he appreciated her kindness, but he
could only falter, and grip her hand. It discomfited him to know that
he was blushing.
In the afternoon he was sitting on the terrace, with a sketching-block
on his knees, and Mrs. Adaile came out through the windows. She
sauntered to and fro. He couldn't lift his eyelids when she
approached, but each time he listened, tense with the frou-frou of her
skirt. All his consciousness was strung to the question whether she
would stop.
"May I look?" she said.
The sensation was in his chest--he felt as if his chest had gone. She
stood there, amused by his symptoms, for two or three minutes, and
moved away. He was incredibly excited, boundlessly happy until he
began to think of the better answers he might have made. Visions of
the evening and the morrow dazzled him; when he went inside it was not
the same hotel to him, they were not the same rooms. It does not take
a woman six days to create a world for any man.
By the end of the week he talked to her often and freely. At the end
of a fortnight:
"I used to be afraid you'd never say anything at all to me," he owned.
"I thought you weren't very nice," she said.
"Miss McGuire told you things about me?"
"She told me as soon as you apologised to her, too. I was pleased you
did that, even if you weren't in the wrong."
"Wouldn't you ever have taken any notice of me if I hadn't?"
"I did notice you," she smiled.
"Did you? But 'ever spoken to me,' I mean?"
"I don't know. We shouldn't have been such good friends as we are.
I've never liked any boy as I like you, Con."
He ached to tell her how infinitely grateful he felt, but he could not
find a word. They walked up and down together. Perhaps she
understood. On a sudden he thought how cruel it was that the end would
come when he went to Paris, or when she went to England. In that
moment instinct taught the lad as remorselessly as experience teaches
man. He _knew_ their friendship was the merest incident to her, and
the hurtfulness of the knowledge squeezed his throat.
"If we meet again one day, you'll give me a stiff little bow and pass
by," he blurted.
"Con!" she murmured. "Why, I've become chummier here with you in a
little while than I am with people I've known at home for years."
Still instinct was heavy in the boy.
He always spent the morning out of doors with his brushes; soon he
found himself restless during the morning, impatient to return to the
hotel. And he did not know he was in love with her. It did not occur
to him as possible he could be in love with her. He had absolutely no
suspicion.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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