Adoptees -- Fiction; Fathers and daughters -- Fiction
"My dear father," replied Elizabeth, "this talk is not for me. I have no
wish to claim the kindness of those who treated my true parents ill. You
are everything to me. I am little more than a child, and cannot find
words to express all I mean; but my truest meaning is, to show my
gratitude to you till my dying day; to remain with you for ever, while
you love me; and to be the most miserable creature in the world if you
drive me from you. Have we not lived together since I was a little
thing, no higher than your knee? And all the time you have been kinder
than any father. When we have been exposed to storms, you have wrapped
me round in your arms so that no drop could fall on my head. Do you
remember that dreadful evening, when our carriage broke down in the
wide, dark steppe; and you, covering me up, carried me in your arms,
while the wind howled and the freezing rain drove against you? You could
hardly bear up; and when we arrived at the post-house, you, strong man
as you are, fainted from exhaustion; while I, sheltered in your arms,
was as warm and well as if it had been a summer's day. You have earned
me--you have bought me by all this kindness, and you must not cast me
away!"
She clung round his neck--her face bathed in tears, sobbing and speaking
in broken accents. As she saw him soften, she implored him yet more
earnestly, till his heart was quite subdued; and, clasping her to his
heart, he showered kisses on her head and neck; while, to his surprise,
forgotten tears sprung to his own eyes. "For worlds I would not desert
you," he cried. "It is not casting you away that we should separate for
a short time; for where I go, indeed, dearest, you cannot accompany me.
I cannot go on living as I have done. For many years now my life has
been spent in pleasantness and peace--I have no right to this--hardship,
and toil, and death I ought to repay. I abhor myself for a coward, when
I think of what others suffer through my deeds--while I am scathless.
You can scarcely remember the hour when the touch of your little hand
saved my life. My heart is not changed since then--I am unworthy to
exist. Dear Elizabeth, you may one day hate me, when you know the misery
I have caused to those who deserved better at my hands. The cry of my
victim rings in my ears, and I am base to survive my crime. Let me,
dearest, make my own the praise, that nothing graced my life more than
the leaving it. To live a coward and a drone, suits vilely with my
former acts of violence and ill. Let me gain peace of mind by exposing
my life to danger. By advocating a just cause I may bring a blessing
down upon my endeavours. I shall go to Greece. Theirs is a good
cause--that of liberty and Christianity against tyranny and an evil
faith. Let me die for it; and when it is known, as it will one day be,
that the innocent perished through me, it will be added, that I died in
the defence of the suffering and the brave. But you cannot go with me to
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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