LA GUERRE would declare, “With the blood of a foe No tipple is worthy to clink.” Poor fellow! he hadn’t, though sixty or so, Yet tasted his favourite drink! They agreed at their mess—they agreed in the glass— They agreed in the choice of their “set,” And they also agreed in adoring, alas! The Vivandière, pretty FILLETTE. Agreement, you see, may be carried too far, And after agreeing all round For years—in this soldierly “maid of the bar,” A bone of contention they found! It may seem improper to call such a pet— By a metaphor, even—a bone; But though they agreed in adoring her, yet Each wanted to make her his own. “On the day that you marry her,” muttered PREPERE (With a pistol he quietly played), “I’ll scatter the brains in your noddle, I swear, All over the stony parade!” “I cannot do _that_ to you,” answered LA GUERRE, “Whatever events may befall; But this _I can_ do—_if you_ wed her, _mon cher_! I’ll eat you, moustachios and all!” The rivals, although they would never engage, Yet quarrelled whenever they met; They met in a fury and left in a rage, But neither took pretty FILLETTE. “I am not afraid,” thought MAKREDI PREPERE: “For country I’m ready to fall; But nobody wants, for a mere Vivandière, To be eaten, moustachios and all! “Besides, though LA GUERRE has his faults, I’ll allow He’s one of the bravest of men: My goodness! if I disagree with him now, I might disagree with him then.” “No coward am I,” said LA GUERRE, “as you guess— I sneer at an enemy’s blade; But I don’t want PREPERE to get into a mess For splashing the stony parade!” One day on parade to PREPERE and LA GUERRE Came CORPORAL JACOT DEBETTE, And trembling all over, he prayed of them there To give him the pretty FILLETTE. “You see, I am willing to marry my bride Until you’ve arranged this affair; I will blow out my brains when your honours decide Which marries the sweet Vivandière!” “Well, take her,” said both of them in a duet (A favourite form of reply), “But when I am ready to marry FILLETTE. Remember you’ve promised to die!” He married her then: from the flowery plains Of existence the roses they cull: He lived and he died with his wife; and his brains Are reposing in peace in his skull. EMILY, JOHN, JAMES, AND I. A DERBY LEGEND. EMILY JANE was a nursery maid, JAMES was a bold Life Guard, JOHN was a constable, poorly paid (And I am a doggerel bard). A very good girl was EMILY JANE, JIMMY was good and true, JOHN was a very good man in the main (And I am a good man too). Rivals for EMMIE were JOHNNY and JAMES, Though EMILY liked them both; She couldn’t tell which had the strongest claims (And _I_ couldn’t take my oath).