_Jul._ Thou knowest not the one, nor I the other,
Torn hast thou from me all my soul held dear!
Her form, her voice, all, hast thou banished from me;
Nor dare I, wretched as I am! recall
Those solaces of every grief, erewhile.
I stand abased before insulting crime—
I falter like a criminal myself.
The hand that hurled thy chariot o’er its wheels,
That held thy steeds erect and motionless
As molten statues on some palace-gates,
Shakes, as with palsied age, before thee now.
Gone is the treasure of my heart, for ever,
Without a father, mother, friend, or name.
Daughter of Julian—such was her delight—
Such was mine too! what pride more innocent,
What, surely, less deserving pangs like these,
Than springs from filial and parental love!
Debarred from every hope that issues forth
To meet the balmy breath of early life,
Her saddened days, all, cold and colourless,
Will stretch before her their whole weary length
Amid the sameness of obscurity.
She wanted not seclusion, to unveil
Her thoughts to heaven, cloister, nor midnight bell;
She found it in all places, at all hours:
While, to assuage my labours, she indulged
A playfulness that shunned a mother’s eye,
Still, to avert my perils, there arose
A piety that, even from _me_, retired.
_Rod._ Such was she! what am I! those are the arms
That are triumphant when the battle fails.
O Julian, Julian! all thy former words
Struck but the imbecile plumes of vanity;
These, through its steely coverings, pierce the heart.
I ask not life nor death; but, if I live,
Send my most bitter enemy to watch
My secret paths, send poverty, send pain—
I will add more—wise as thou art, thou knowest
No foe more furious than forgiven kings.
I ask not then what thou wouldst never grant:
May heaven, O Julian, from thy hand receive
A pardoned man, a chastened criminal.
_Jul._ This further curse hast thou inflicted; wretch,
I cannot pardon thee.
_Rod._ Thy tone, thy mien,
Refute those words.
_Jul._ No—I can _not_ forgive.
_Rod._ Upon my knee, my conqueror, I implore—
Upon the earth, before thy feet—hard heart!
_Jul._ Audacious! hast thou never heard that prayer
And scorned it? ’tis the last thou shouldst repeat.
Upon the earth! upon her knees! O God!
_Rod._ Resemble not a wretch so lost as I:
Be better; Oh! be happier; and pronounce it.
_Jul._ I swerve not from my purpose: thou art mine,
Conquered; and I have sworn to dedicate,
Like a torn banner on my chapel’s roof,
Thee to that power from whom thou hast rebelled.
Expiate thy crimes by prayer, by penances.
_Rod._ Hasten the hour of trial, speak of peace.
Pardon me not, then—but with purer lips
Implore of God, who _would_ hear _thee_, to pardon.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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