Marriage -- Drama; Married people -- Drama; Weddings -- Drama
I must not reply flippantly, Make them all Wards in Chancery; yet that
would be enough to put any sensible person on the track of the reply.
One would think, to hear the way in which people sometimes ask the
question, that not only does marriage prevent the difficulty from ever
arising, but that nothing except divorce can ever raise it. It is true
that if you divorce the parents, the children have to be disposed
of. But if you hang the parents, or imprison the parents, or take the
children out of the custody of the parents because they hold Shelley's
opinions, or if the parents die, the same difficulty arises. And as
these things have happened again and again, and as we have had plenty of
experience of divorce decrees and separation orders, the attempt to
use children as an obstacle to divorce is hardly worth arguing with. We
shall deal with the children just as we should deal with them if their
homes were broken up by any other cause. There is a sense in which
children are a real obstacle to divorce: they give parents a common
interest which keeps together many a couple who, if childless, would
separate. The marriage law is superfluous in such cases. This is shewn
by the fact that the proportion of childless divorces is much larger
than the proportion of divorces from all causes. But it must not be
forgotten that the interest of the children forms one of the most
powerful arguments for divorce. An unhappy household is a bad nursery.
There is something to be said for the polygynous or polyandrous
household as a school for children: children really do suffer from
having too few parents: this is why uncles and aunts and tutors
and governesses are often so good for children. But it is just the
polygamous household which our marriage law allows to be broken up, and
which, as we have seen, is not possible as a typical institution in
a democratic country where the numbers of the sexes are about equal.
Therefore polygyny and polyandry as a means of educating children fall
to the ground, and with them, I think, must go the opinion which has
been expressed by Gladstone and others, that an extension of divorce,
whilst admitting many new grounds for it, might exclude the ground of
adultery. There are, however, clearly many things that make some of our
domestic interiors little private hells for children (especially
when the children are quite content in them) which would justify any
intelligent State in breaking up the home and giving the custody of the
children either to the parent whose conscience had revolted against the
corruption of the children, or to neither.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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