Gleanings in Graveyards: A Collection of Curious EpitaphsNorfolk, Horatio Edward
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Gleanings in Graveyards: A Collection of Curious Epitaphs
Norfolk, Horatio Edward
Epitaphs; Epitaphs -- Great Britain
* * * * *
Hout, Atropos, heard-hearted hag,
To cut the sheugh o’ Jamie Craig!
For had he lived a wheen mae years
He’d been o’er teugh for thy auld shears.
But now he’s gane, sae maun we a’,
Wha wres’les Death’s aye shure to fa’;
Sae let us pray that we at last
May wun frae Death a canny cast.
ABERLADY.
“Here lies John Smith,
Whom Death slew, for all his pith
The starkest man in Aberlady,
God prepare and make us ready.
Lanarkshire.
GLASGOW.
Our life’s a flying shadow, God’s the pole,
The index pointing at him is our soul;
Death’s the horizon, when our sun is set,
Which will through Christ a resurrection get.
* * * * *
Here lies Mass Andrew Gray,
Of whom ne muckle good can I say:
He was ne Quaker, for he had ne spirit,
He was ne Papist, for he had ne merit.
He was ne Turk, for he drank muckle wine,
He was ne Jew, for he eat muckle swine.
Full forty years he preach’d and le’ed,
For which God doomed him when he de’ed.
Perthshire.
DUNKELD.
Margery Scott.
Stop, passenger, until my life you read,
The living may get knowledge from the dead:
Five times five years I lived a virgin life,
Five times five years I was a virtuous wife,
Five times five years a widow, grave and chaste,
Tired of the elements, I am now at rest;
Betwixt my cradle and my grave were seen
Eight mighty kings of Scotland and a Queen;
Thrice did I see old Pulacy pulled down,
And thrice the cloak did sink beneath the gown.
Stirlingshire.
STIRLING.
John Adamson’s here kept within,
Death’s prisoner for Adam’s sin,
But rests in hope that he shall be
Let, by the second Adam, free.
Wigtonshire.
WIGTON.
Here lies John Taggart, of honest fame,
Of stature low, and a leg lame;
Content he was with portion small,
Kept a shop in Wigtown, and that’s all.
Miscellaneous.
A servant maid was sent by her mistress to Ben Jonson for an epitaph on
her departed husband. She could only afford to pay half-a-guinea, which
Ben refused, saying he never wrote one for less than double that sum; but
recollecting he was going to dine that day at a tavern, he ran down
stairs and called her back. “What was your master’s name?”—“Jonathan
Fiddle, sir.” “When did he die?”—“June the 22nd, sir.” Ben took a small
piece of paper, and wrote with his pencil, while standing on the stairs,
the following:—
On the twenty-second of June,
Jonathan Fiddle went out of tune.
* * * * *
On Shadrach Johnson,
Who kept the Wheatsheaf, at Bedford, and had twenty-
four children by his first wife, and eight by his second.
Shadrach lies here; who made both sexes happy,
The women with love toys, and the men with nappy.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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