As soon as Phemy was able to leave her room, Steenie constituted
himself her slave, and was ever within her call. He seemed always to
know when she would prefer having him in sight, and when she would
rather be alone. He would sit for an hour at the other end of the room,
and watch her like a dog without moving. He could have sat so all day,
but, as soon as she was able to move about, nothing could keep Phemy in
one place more than an hour at the utmost. By this time Steenie could
read a little, and his reading was by no means as fruitless as it was
slow; he would sit reading, nor at all lose his labour that, every
other moment when within sight of her, he would look up to see if she
wanted anything. To this mute attendance of love the girl became so
accustomed that she regarded it as her right, nor had ever the spoiled
little creature occasion to imagine that it was not yielded her; and if
at a rare moment she threw him glance or small smile--a crumb from her
table to her dog--Steenie would for one joyous instant see into the
seventh heaven, and all the day after dwell in the fifth or sixth. On
fine clear noontides she would walk a little way with him and Snootie,
and then he would talk to her as he had never done except to Kirsty,
telling her wonderful things about the dog and the sheep, the stars and
the night, the clouds and the moon; but he never spoke to her of the
bonny man. When, on their return, she would say they had had a pleasant
walk together, his delight would be unutterable; but all the time
Steenie had not once ventured a word belonging to any of the deeper
thoughts in which his heart was most at home. Was it that in his own
eyes he was but a worm glorified with the boon of serving an angel? was
it that he felt as if she knew everything of that kind, and he had
nothing to tell her but the things that entered at his eyes and ears?
or was it that a sacred instinct of her incapacity for holy things kept
him silent concerning such? At times he would look terribly sad, and
the mood would last for hours.
Not once since she began to get better, had Phemy alluded to her
faithless lover. In its departure her illness seemed to have carried
with it her unwholesome love for him; and certainly, as if overjoyed at
her deliverance, she had become much more of a child. Kirsty was glad
for her sake, and gladder still that Francie Gordon had done her no
irreparable injury--seemed not even to have left his simulacrum in her
memory and imagination. As her strength returned, she regained the
childish merriment which had always drawn Kirsty, and the more strongly
that she was not herself light-hearted. Kirsty’s rare laugh was indeed
a merry one, but when happiest of all she hardly smiled. Perhaps she
never would laugh her own laugh until she opened her eyes in heaven!
But how can any one laugh his real best laugh before that! Until then
he does not even know his name!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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