The artist has mercifully drawn a veil over the hero in this scene. This is always the way you finish. You try out your proposals on different girls and find yourself landed at last with a big, masterful sort of sparring partner, a girl who grabbed you when you weren’t looking and marched you up the aisle with the Lohengrin record turned on at third speed. And, behind you and your big masterful girl, there stalks that dreadful mother of hers, and her soul-blighting Uncle Cyril, and her dreadful little twin brothers, and then--walking with a man whom you happen to hate--the bride’s sister Gertie, the bright little girl whom you _really meant to marry_. [Illustration] THE NEWLY RICH ELEMENT Heroic little bands like this annually advance upon the fashionable resorts, to make an overt attack upon society. These invaders come from the heart of the wilds, where the head of the family (merely a courtesy title) is known locally as the Gravel Roof King. Little family groups of this sort are not considered complete without four daughters, at least, each more painfully unmarried than the rest. [Illustration] Palmy Days at the Seaside _Sights at the Bathing Resorts When the Season for Salt Water is Declared On_ [Illustration] FOND MEMORIES There is, alas, but little of this sort of thing, these days. The spectacle of a venerable waiter, working himself into a healthy glow over the wholesome indoor exercise of bottle-opening is becoming rarer every day. A corkscrew, once the national emblem, will soon be but a relic for a civic museum. [Illustration] ON THE SIDE LINES It is such little groups as these that lend a really homelike air to the seaside resorts. These pillars of society know the entire history of the resort by heart; they are specialists on dates, social standing, if any, and previous conditions of matrimony. They are a complete Guide to the closet skeletons of all the married and unmarried guests in the hotel. THE CINEMA VAMP This year the movie vampire is on the promenade resting from the outdoor scenes of her new picture, “The Super-Sin,” which will barely get by the national board of censorship. The cinema vampire is highly unpopular with the débutantes at the seaside resort. They seem always to resent professional competition. [Illustration] THE TENNIS HOUNDS Any day you may see the tennis hounds assembling at the court for a set of mixed--hopelessly mixed--doubles. The curious thing about most of these strange creatures is that no living-eye has ever beheld them actually playing; they appear on the court with much ceremony, carrying all the properties, and wearing the most technically correct costumes, but that is as far as most of these sartorial creatures ever seem to go. [Illustration] MIXED FOURSOMES