Sir, I generally believe everything that is going to happen; and as it is a remarkable fact that everything that is going to happen is of a depressing nature, I undergo a good deal of anxiety. I am very careful of myself (taking a variety of patent medicines, and paying particular attention to the weather), but I am not strong. I think my weakness is principally on my nerves, which have been a good deal shaken in the course of my profession as a practising attorney; in which I have met with a good deal to shock them; but from which, I beg leave most cheerfully to acquaint you, I have retired. Sir, I am certain you are a very remarkable public gentleman, though you have the misfortune to be French. I am convinced you know what is going to happen, because you describe it in your book on “The Decline of England,” in such an alarming manner. I have read your book and, Sir, I am sincerely obliged to you for what you have made me suffer; I am very miserable and very grateful. You have not only opened up a particularly dismal future, but you have shown me in what a miserable condition we, here, (I mean in Tooting, my place of abode, and the surrounding portion of the British Empire) are at this present time; though really I was not aware of it. I suppose that your chapter on the law of this land is the result of a profound study of the statutes at large and the “Reports of Cases argued,” &c.; for students of your nation do not take long for that sort of thing, and you have been amongst us at least three months. In the course of your “reading up” you must doubtless have perused the posthumous reports of J. Miller, Q. C. (Queen’s Comedian). There you doubtless found the cause of Hammer _v._ Tongs, which was an action of _tort_ tried before Gogg, C. J. Flamfacer (Serjeant)—according to the immortal reporter of good things—stated his case on behalf of the plaintiff so powerfully, that before he could get to the peroration, said plaintiff’s hair stood on end, tears rolled down his cheeks in horror and pity at his own wrongs, and he exclaimed, while wringing his pocket-handkerchief, “Good gracious! That villain Tongs! What a terrific box on my ear it must have been! To think that a man may be almost murdered without knowing it!”