China -- History -- Revolution, 1911-1912 -- Fiction; Love stories; River boats -- Fiction; Yangtze River (China) -- Fiction
Doane, for a moment, pressed a hand to his eyes. He could not relate
this radiantly Western girl with the quaintly Oriental figure he had
last seen by moonlight on the boat deck. It was difficult, too, to
understand her bright happiness. Had her insistently modern spirit
prevailed over her father's resolve to die? Or was she, after all,
carried away by girlishly high spirits at the thought of a party? On the
latter possibility Doane set his teeth; it raided thoughts of Oriental
fatalism and surface adaptability that he could not face. Surely the
girl who had talked so earnestly, who had so clearly exhibited a Western
view of her father's predicament, was more than Oriental at heart.
The most deeply sobering thought, of course, was that he should so
poignantly care. The mere sight of her thrilled him, shook him. All
night and during this day he had been fighting the new shining sense of
her in his heart; it was clear now that the battle was a losing one.
It was true, then; the last broken shards of his elaborately built up,
wholly mental philosophy of life had crashed hopelessly about his ears.
The pity of it seemed to him, even then, to be that he was possessed of
such abounding vitality of body and mind. He felt a young man. He was
never ill, never even tired. Only accident, he felt, could shorten his
life. Certainly he wouldn't take it himself; he had gone all through
that. He would have to go dully on and on; he was like an engine that is
using but a fraction of its proper power. He had not known that his need
was a woman until he met this woman. To no other, he felt, could he give
the rich upwellings of emotion in his heart; and vital emotion, he
had tragically learned three years earlier, can not be repressed
indefinitely. There was a breaking point... He was, even now, bringing
up favorable arguments. This young woman, as she had admitted, like
himself, stood between the worlds. She could never be happy in China;
hardly out of it. If.... If.... Thoughts came, bitter thoughts, of his
years, of his poverty. The thing had the grip of a demoniac possession.
He had seen other men mad over the one woman, and had pitied them; but
now he.... He called himself savagely, in his heart, a fool. Yet the
wild hopes mounted.
The waltz was over. The Kid changed the records and ground the machine.
An interpreter left the group of mandarins and spoke with one of the
Australians; led the man back to his excellency. A moment later the
music sounded again, and the Australian danced lightly away with Miss
Hui Fei in what Doane had no means of knowing was the very new
one-step. He had never danced; plainly she loved it. She moved like a
fairy--light, utterly graceful, her oval face, when she turned, flushed
a little and soberly radiant.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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