"Why, boys, do you mean to tell me you can not do such a simple sum as this?" "No, we can't, sir," was the general cry. "Why, Robinson, not even you?" I said to the top boy. "I always considered you a sharp lad. Jones, you cannot? Nor Brown? Well, well; it's too bad." And, putting on a look of pitying contempt--which must have been quite a success, to judge by the dejection written on the faces before me--I proceeded to give them a little lecture on their arithmetical shortcomings. I felt saved. It was near the time for dismissing the class. "Boys," said I, to finish up, "I must have been sadly mistaken in you; the best thing we can do is to go back to addition and subtraction to-morrow." Without being quite so hard as that upon them, I set them an easy task for the next lesson; the bell rang, and the boys dispersed. I immediately went to the head mathematical master, and had the difficulty explained away in a few seconds. How simple things are when they are explained, to be sure! Armed with a new insight into Stocks, I was ready for my young friends the following Friday. After the ordinary work had been got through: "Now," I said, "have you had another try at that sum, any of you?" "Yes, sir; but we can't do it," was the reply. "Well," I said, in a relenting tone, as I went to the blackboard, "I suppose we had better do it together." I made the boys confess it was too stupid of them to have proved unequal to this _simple_ sum; and thus they regained my good graces. Later in the day I received the glad tidings that the master I replaced was better (goodness knows if I had prayed for the return of his health!). He was to have his boys next time. Thus was I enabled to retire from the field with flying colors. * * * * * If you do not love boys, never be a school-master. If you love boys and wish to become a school-master, see that you are a good disciplinarian, or take _Punch's_ advice to those about to marry: "Don't." X. ENGLISH BOYS' PATRIOTISM PUT TO A SEVERE TEST.--THEIR OPINION OF FRENCH VICTORIES.--KING LOUIS VI. OF FRANCE AND THE ENGLISH SOLDIER AT THE BATTLE OF BRENNEVILLE.--AN ENGLISH BOY ON FRENCH WRESTLING.--YOUNG TORY DEMOCRATS.--'IMPERIUM ET LIBERTAS.'--A PATRIOTIC ANSWER.--DUCK AND DRAKE. I am afraid I often put the patriotism of English boys to a severe test. I generally liked to place in their hands such books as would relate to them the glorious past of France, and teach them to respect her. Let those who do not love their country throw the first stone at me. Bossuet's "Funeral Orations," Voltaire's "Siècle de Louis XIV.," D'Aubigné's "History of Bayard," Bonnechose's "Lazare Hoche," were among my favorite text-books.