John Cheap, the Chapman's Library. Vol. 1: Comic and Humorous: The Scottish Chap Literature of Last Century, ClassifiedGraham, Dougal
General
John Cheap, the Chapman's Library. Vol. 1: Comic and Humorous: The Scottish Chap Literature of Last Century, Classified
Graham, Dougal
Chapbooks, Scottish; English literature -- 18th century; Graham, Dougal, 1724-1779; Popular literature -- Scotland
The poor Dominie ran out of the school crying and wringing his
hands. Word flew about that he was sticked by the Dominie, which
made the people come running from several parts of the country
round about to see how it was: but upon searching him, they found
the empty pudding, which discovered all the fraud. Then two men
had to get horses and ride after the poor Dominie, who had by this
time got two or three miles away; and when he saw them riding after
him crying to stop and come back again, he ran the faster until he
could run no more, but fell down on the road, and prayed them to
let him go, for, if he was taken back, he was sure to be hanged:
and would not be persuaded that Tom was alive, until they forced
him back, and he saw him. But he would be Tom’s teacher no longer;
so Tom’s father had to seek another master for him.
PART II.
There was a young woman, servant to Tom’s father, whom Tom had
offended by some of his tricks, and she, to be up with Tom again,
one night spread a handful of short nettles in his bed, between the
sheets which stung his legs and thighs so much, that he was obliged
to quit his bed for some part of the night; for such he resolved
to be revenged, whenever a proper opportunity offered. It happened
in a few days after, that she was invited to a wedding, where the
dancing and diversions induced her to stay all night, and on coming
home in the morning, she fell a washing some clothes. But being
fatigued with her night’s diversion and for want of rest, fell fast
asleep with her hands extended in the tub, and standing on her
feet, with her belly leaning on the tub; Tom perceiving this, slips
her petticoat and smoke over her head, facing the highway; several
people passing by, while she continued in this posture, some of
them were diverted with the sight, and others were ashamed at it;
but a poor cadger had the misfortune to be coming that way at the
time, and his horse taking fright at this unusual sight threw of
his creels, and broke the poor man’s eggs all to smash; which so
enraged him that he lashed her buttocks with his whip, in such an
unmerciful manner, that with the smart and shame together, she had
not the least inclination to sleep for the remaining part of the
day.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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