Pudding and milk is a good thing tew git happy on, but too mutch pudding and milk, even, will worry a man. The most happy individual i ever knu had no under garment, and he probably would have remained happy, until his back had wore out, if the Femail Billingsville sowing society had not furnished him a cotton seclusion for hiz body, and got him riled up, bekauze the collar tew the seclusion want starched stiff enuff. It iz a verry dangerous peace ov bizzness tew interfere with enny man's private plans, for hiz own partiklar happyness, (or partiklar misery,) upon the same principle, that it iz a verry dangerous enterprise to pull a thorn out ov a mule's hind leg, and dodge the kick. Awl human hapness iz conservatiff; 2 thirds ov the pleasure in sliding down hill consists in drawing the sled back. I don't serpoze thare would be enny fun in sliding down a hill 34 miles long. A verry large share ov our happiness iz derived from anticipation; i kan rekoleckt now ov having tremenjus fun, years ago, in the western wilderness, hunting bees, and also hav a lively reminiscence ov gitting awfully stung, when i found the bees. Upon the whole, after weighing the matter camly, i hav cum tew the sanguine konklusion, that the hight ov human happyness in this life, consists in being unhappy, and not kno it. LVII. PHILOSOPHEE OV THE BILLINGS FAMILEE, AS SOT DOWN BI JOSH. I pray you, never seem tew want enny thing. If you hav not got even a wheelbarrow, talk with grate ease about a horse and carriage. If you are caught with a rent in yure coat, be az mutch serprised at first as he who diskovers it, (a rent iz but the episode ov a moment,) but do not be mortified, even if he iz curious. If questioned about yure ansesstors, remember that the further back you go, the more safely you may lay yure claims--you had just az menny relashuns in Knower's ark, az enny body kan show. Eat puddin and milk simply becaus it is healthy. Hire a back seat in the church, so az tew be the first out, in kase ov fire. Your wife and children never look so well tew you, az in a "shillin a yard." If spoken ov for offiss, take notiss ov this or that growin evil; suggest no plan; wear a careful plaster over your mouth, and talk about the capasity and integrity of yure opponent--if beaten, praze the right ov suffrage, publickly, but dam the whole plan, privately, as mutch az you are a mind to. If you would borry a sum ov munny, ask for it as you would for a yesterday's nuzpaper. If invited tew dinner--hessitate, but yield upon reflekshun, remarkin, "that yure own table is provided with oysters, and needs no carver." Make az menny frends as you kan--never, but as a last resort, use one. Always sing, for thus you may get the envy ov the world, while yure tears would seek in vain for their pity. Live in the world az one ov its most familyer people, but really hav but little to do with it. Never argu, and never be convinced.