Kissing the Rod: A Novel. (Vol. 2 of 3)Yates, Edmund
General
Kissing the Rod: A Novel. (Vol. 2 of 3)
Yates, Edmund
England -- Fiction
So far as it went, Katharine's argument with herself was frank and
well founded; but it did not go far enough, it did not extend to the
acknowledgment of the real blot which she dreaded her friend's
hitting. That Mrs. Stanbourne should regard her in the gravely
responsible position of a wife, as wholly given up to empty
amusements, the pursuit of pleasure and excitement, and the lavish
expenditure of money upon every trifle which took her fancy, was, she
chose to persuade herself, what she dreaded. And this certainly was an
impression to be deprecated; but it was only secondary, though she put
it first. It was her conduct towards Robert which she really feared to
find exposed to the keen, unembarrassed scrutiny of Mrs. Stanbourne,
whom she knew to be a woman incapable of trifling with the ideal of
duty either in theory or in practice. That she would discern her to be
a wife without love for her husband, without gratitude for all his
affection and observance, without sympathy for his tastes, observance
of his wishes, or consideration for his feelings; a woman hardened,
wilful, and selfish; who had made a marriage which was a bargain, and
was not faithful to the spirit of her share in that bargain. If Mrs.
Stanbourne's customary penetration did not fail her, this was what it
would show her, under the surface of a life of gaiety, extravagance,
and luxury. She felt in her conscience, whose voice she could not
stifle, that she was unjust towards the man who had given her not only
money but love. True, she did not care for the love, she did not want
it; but after all, it was the vehicle by which the money which she did
want and did care for was conveyed to her; and there was an undeniable
baseness, a failure of duty and propriety in her conduct, only the
more flagrant because the sufferer by it was compelled to endure it
uncomplainingly, because the injury was, so to speak, impalpable.
Katharine was too clear-sighted not to perceive and understand her own
shortcomings perfectly; and in her inmost heart she dreaded that Mrs.
Stanbourne would understand them too. Plainly put, she knew the truth
to be, that she was revenging on the man who had given her a brilliant
and enviable position before the world; who had effectually screened
her from scorn and malice, and made her an object of envy instead; the
man who loved her with a fervour of admiration and devotion which
served only to provoke and embitter her,--the deadly injury inflicted
upon her by another, the baseness of whose conduct every womanly
instinct should have taught her to requite with contempt. She had done
Robert Streightley the tremendous wrong of marrying him without loving
him; true, he knew it and accepted it, but it was none the less, in
the light of a pure woman's conscience, a deadly wrong--and she had
not made the slightest effort to retrieve or repair that wrong. If a
transient impulse, ascribable to the elasticity of spirit of her age
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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