England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Humorous stories, English; River life -- Fiction
“Sam wanted to draw up an agreement, but Ginger Dick and Peter Russet
wouldn’t ’ear of it. They both said that that sort o’ thing wouldn’t
look well in writing, not if anybody else happened to see it, that is;
besides which Ginger said it was impossible for ’im to say ’ow much
money he would ’ave the handling of. Once the tattooing was done ’e
began to take a’most kindly to the plan, an’ being an orfin, so far as
’e knew, he almost began to persuade hisself that the red-’aired
landlady _was_ ’is mother.
“They ’ad a little call over in their room to see ’ow Ginger was to do
it, and to discover the weak p’ints. Sam worked up a squeaky voice, and
pretended to be the landlady, and Peter pretended to be the
good-looking barmaid.
“They went all through it over and over agin, the only unpleasantness
being caused by Peter Russet letting off a screech every time Ginger
alluded to ’is chest wot set ’is teeth on edge, and old Sam as the
landlady offering Ginger pots o’ beer which made ’is mouth water.
“‘We shall go round to-morrow for the last time,’ ses Sam, ‘as we told
’er we’re sailing the day arter. Of course me an’ Peter, ’aving made
your fortin, drop out altogether, but I dessay we shall look in agin in
about six months’ time, and then perhaps the landlady will interduce us
to you.’
“‘Meantime,’ ses Peter Russet, ‘you mustn’t forget that you’ve got to
send us Post Office money-orders every week.’
“Ginger said ’e wouldn’t forget, and they shook ’ands all round and ’ad
a drink together, and the next arternoon Sam and Peter went to the Blue
Lion for a last visit.
“It was quite early when they came back. Ginger was surprised to see
’em, and he said so, but ’e was more surprised when ’e heard their
reasons.
“It come over us all at once as we’d bin doing wrong,’ Sam ses, setting
down with a sigh.
“‘Come over us like a chill, it did,’ ses Peter.
“‘Doing wrong?’ ses Ginger Dick, staring. ‘Wot are you talking about?’
“‘Something the landlady said showed us as we was doin’ wrong,’ ses old
Sam, very solemn; ‘it come over us in a flash.’
“‘Like lightning,’ ses Peter.
“‘All of a sudden we see wot a cruel, ’ard thing it was to go and try
and deceive a poor widder woman,’ ses Sam, in a ’usky voice; ‘we both
see it at once.’
“Ginger Dick looks at ’em ’ard, ’e did, and then, ’e ses, jeering like:
“‘I ’spose you don’t want any Post Office money-orders sent you, then?’
he ses.
“‘No,’ says Sam and Peter, both together.
“‘You may have ’em all,’ ses Sam; ‘but if you’ll be ruled by us,
Ginger, you’ll give it up, same as wot we ’ave—you’ll sleep the sweeter
for it.’
“‘Give it up!’ shouts Ginger, dancing up an’ down the room, ‘arter
being tattooed all over? Why, you must be crazy, Sam—wot’s the matter
with you?’
“‘It ain’t fair play agin a woman,’ says old Sam, ‘three strong men
agin one poor old woman; that’s wot we feel, Ginger.’
“‘Well, _I_ don’t feel like it,’ ses Ginger; ‘you please yourself, and
I’ll please myself.’
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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