Little Masterpieces of American Wit and Humor, Volume II
General
Little Masterpieces of American Wit and Humor, Volume II
American wit and humor
"'Chapter Five. The Lonely House and the Faithful Friend. Thus was
I left alone. None but two dogs to keep me com-pa-ny. I milk-ed the
lowing kine and water-ed and fed the steed, and then, after my fru-gal
repast, I clos-ed the man-si-on, shutting out all re-collections
of the past and also foresights into the future. That night was a
me-mor-able one. I slept soundly until the break of morn, but had the
events transpired which afterward occur-red, what would have hap-pen-ed
to me no tongue can tell. Early the next day nothing happen-ed. Soon
after breakfast the vener-able John came to bor-row some ker-o-sene
oil and a half a pound of sugar, but his attempt was foil-ed. I knew
too well the in-sid-i-ous foe. In the very out-set of his vil-la-in-y
I sent him home with a empty can. For two long days I wan-der-ed amid
the ver-dant pathways of the garden and to the barn, when-ever and
anon my du-ty call-ed me, nor did I ere neg-lect the fowlery. No cloud
o'erspread this happy peri-od of my life. But the cloud was ri-sing in
the horizon, although I saw it not.
"'It was about twenty-five minutes after eleven, on the morning of a
Thursday, that I sat pondering in my mind the ques-ti-on what to do
with the butter and the veg-et-ables. Here was butter, and here was
green corn and lima beans and trophy tomats, far more than I ere could
use. And here was a horse, idly cropping the fol-i-age in the field,
for as my employer had advis-ed and order-ed, I had put the steed to
grass. And here was a wagon, none too new, which had it the top taken
off, or even the curtains roll-ed up, would do for a li-cen-sed vender.
With the truck and butter, and mayhap some milk, I could load the
wagon----'"
"Oh, Pomona," interrupted Euphemia, "you don't mean to say that you
were thinking of doing anything like that?"
"Well, I was just beginning to think of it," said Pomona. "But I
couldn't have gone away and left the house. And you'll see I didn't do
it." And then she continued her novel. "'But while my thoughts were
thus employ-ed, I heard Lord Edward burst into bark-ter----'"
At this Euphemia and I could not help bursting into laughter. Pomona
did not seem at all confused, but went on with her reading.
"'I hurried to the door, and, look-ing out, I saw a wagon at the gate.
Re-pair-ing there, I saw a man. Said he "Wilt open the gate?" I had
fasten-ed up the gates and remov-ed every stealable ar-ticle from the
yard.'"
Euphemia and I looked at each other. This explained the absence of the
rustic seat and the dipper.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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