England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Humorous stories, English; River life -- Fiction; Sea stories, English
“Well, to tell the truth, sir,” said Ted, “I’m like the mate. I’m only
a poor sailor-man, but I wouldn’t lend my clothes to the Queen of
England.”
“You fetch up them clothes,” roared the skipper snatching off his
bonnet and flinging it on the deck. “Fetch ’em up at once. D’ye think
I’m going about in these petticuts?”
“They’re my clothes,” muttered Ted doggedly.
“Very well, then, I’ll have Bill’s,” said the skipper. “But mind you,
my lad, I’ll make you pay for this afore I’ve done with you. Bill’s the
only honest man aboard this ship. Gimme your hand, Bill, old man.”
“I’m with them two,” said Bill gruffly, as he turned away.
The skipper, biting his lips with fury, turned from one to the other,
and then, with a big oath, walked forward. Before he could reach the
fo’c’sle Bill and Ted dived down before him, and, by the time he had
descended, sat on their chests side by side confronting him. To threats
and appeals alike they turned a deaf ear, and the frantic skipper was
compelled at last to go on deck again, still encumbered with the hated
skirts.
“Why don’t you go an’ lay down,” said the mate, “an’ I’ll send you down
a nice cup o’ hot tea. You’ll get histericks, if you go on like that.”
“I’ll knock your ’ead off if you talk to me,” said the skipper.
“Not you,” said the mate cheerfully; “you ain’t big enough. Look at
that pore fellow over there.”
The skipper looked in the direction indicated, and, swelling with
impotent rage, shook his fist fiercely at a red-faced man with grey
whiskers, who was wafting innumerable tender kisses from the bridge of
a passing steamer.
“That’s right,” said the mate approvingly; “don’t give ’im no
encouragement. Love at first sight ain’t worth having.”
The skipper, suffering severely from suppressed emotion, went below,
and the crew, after waiting a little while to make sure that he was not
coming up again, made their way quietly to the mate.
“If we can only take him to Battlesea in this rig it’ll be all right,”
said the latter. “You chaps stand by me. His slippers and sou’-wester
is the only clothes he’s got aboard. Chuck every needle you can lay
your hands on overboard, or else he’ll git trying to make a suit out of
a piece of old sail or something. If we can only take him to Mr.
Pearson like this, it won’t be so bad after all.”
While these arrangements were in hand above, the skipper and the boy
were busy over others below. Various startling schemes propounded by
the skipper for obtaining possession of his men’s attire were rejected
by the youth as unlawful, and, what was worse, impracticable. For a
couple of hours they discussed ways and means, but only ended in
diatribes against the mean ways of the crew; and the skipper, whose
head ached still from his excesses, fell into a state of sullen despair
at length, and sat silent.
“By Jove, Tommy, I’ve got it,” he cried suddenly, starting up and
hitting the table with his fist. “Where’s your other suit?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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