Marriage, As It Was, As It Is, and As It Should Be: A Plea for ReformBesant, Annie
Philosophy
Marriage, As It Was, As It Is, and As It Should Be: A Plea for Reform
Besant, Annie
Marriage -- Great Britain; Marriage law -- Great Britain
"Do you still ask me--accustomed as you are to consider virtue the
offspring of restrictions--do you still ask me, what the checks are that
produce and preserve such a state of things? I reply, good feeling
and public opinion. Continual change is held to be disreputable; where
sincere and well-founded affection exists, it is not desired; and as
there is no pecuniary inducement in forming a placement, these voluntary
unions are seldom ill-assorted."
Where social anarchy is feared, facts like these are worth pages of
argument. If the Haytians are civilised enough for this more moral kind
of marriage, why should Europeans be on a lower level? For it should not
be forgotten that the experiment was tried in St. Domingo under great
disadvantages, and these unlegalised unions have yet proved more
permanent than those tied with all due formality and tightness.
It may be urged: if divorce is to be so easily attainable, why
should there be a marriage contract at all? Both as regards the pair
immediately concerned, and as regards the children who may result from
the union, a clear and definite contract seems to me to be eminently
desirable. It is not to be wished that the union of those on whom
depends the next generation should be carelessly and lightly entered
into; the dignity and self-recollection which a definite compact implies
are by no means to be despised, when it is remembered how grave and
weighty are the responsibilities assumed by those who are to give to the
State new citizens, and to Humanity new lives, which must be either a
blessing or a curse. But the dignity of such a course is not its only,
nor, indeed, its main, recommendation. More important is the absolute
necessity that the conditions of the union of the two adult lives should
be clearly and thoroughly understood between them. No wise people enter
into engagements of an important and durable character without a written
agreement; a definite contract excludes all chance of disagreement as
to the arrangements made, and prevents misunderstandings from arising. A
verbal contract may be misunderstood by either party; lapse of time may
bring about partial forgetfulness; slight disagreements may result in
grave quarrels. If the contract be a written one, it speaks for itself,
and no doubt can arise which cannot be reasonably settled. All this is
readily seen where ordinary business partnerships are concerned, but
some--unconsciously rebounding from the present immoral system, and
plunging into the opposite extreme--consider that the union in marriage
of man and woman is too tender and sacred a thing to be thus dealt with
as from a business point of view. But it must be remembered that while
love is essential to true and holy marriage, marriage implies more than
love; it implies also a number of new relations to the outside
world which--while men and women live in the world--cannot be wholly
disregarded. Questions of house, of money, of credit, &c., necessarily
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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