Married Love: A New Contribution to the Solution of Sex DifficultiesStopes, Marie Carmichael
Science
Married Love: A New Contribution to the Solution of Sex Difficulties
Stopes, Marie Carmichael
Man-woman relationships; Marriage; Sex (Psychology); Sex differences; Sex in marriage
It requires little imagination to see that after months or years of
such embittered sleeplessness, the woman tends not only to become
neurasthenic but also resentful towards her husband. She is probably
too ignorant and unobservant of her own physiology to realise the
full meaning of what is taking place, but she feels vaguely that he
is to blame, and that she is being sacrificed for what, in her still
greater ignorance of _his_ physiology, seems to her to be his mere
pleasure and self-indulgence.
He, with his health maintained by the natural outlet followed by
recuperative sleep, is not likely to be ready to look into the
gloomy and shadowy land of vague reproach and inexplicable trivial
wrongs which are all the expression she gives to her unformulated
physical grievance. So he is likely to set down any resentment she
may show to "nerves" or "captiousness"; and to be first solicitous,
and then impatient, towards her apparently irrelevant complaints.
If he is, as many men are, tender and considerate, he may try
to remedy matters by restricting to the extreme limit of what
is absolutely necessary for him, the number of times they come
together. Unconsciously he thus only makes matters worse; for as a
general rule, he is quite unaware of his wife's rhythm, and does
not arrange to coincide with it in his infrequent tender embraces.
As he is now probably sleeping in another room and not daring to
come for the nightly talks and tenderness which are so sweet a
privilege of marriage, here, as in other ways, his well-meaning but
wrongly-conceived efforts at restraint only tend to drive the pair
still further apart.
To make plain the reasonableness of my view regarding sleep, it is
necessary to mention some of the immensely profound influences which
it is now known that sex exerts, even when not stimulated to its
specific use.
In those who are deprived of their sex-organs, particularly when
young, many of the other features and organs of the body develop
abnormally or fail to appear. Castrated boys (eunuchs) when
grown up, tend to have little or no beard, or moustache, to have
high-pitched voices and several other characters which separate them
from normal men.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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