Mr. Oseba's Last DiscoveryBell, George W. (George William)
Science
Mr. Oseba's Last Discovery
Bell, George W. (George William)
New Zealand -- Description and travel; Voyages and travels
"Janus was not a Briton; the Briton has but one face, and it is always
looking to the front. The Briton is sturdy, so he presses forward;
he is weary, and he never runs; he is tenacious, and he appropriates
everything having one loose end. Having more wants than industry, he
invents that he may be satisfied. He adjusts himself to new conditions,
so he hoists his flag over his new cabin and annexes all in sight.
Being dull as a linguist, the people of all climes have to learn his
speech, or abstain from the banquet of the present, and--the future.
"Yes, the British are of a sturdy race. They were developed in a
fine climate. But people can't live on climate, and these people had
appetites. No _thing_ can come from nothing. Thoughts and actions are
'products,' but the finished goods always reveal the character of the
raw material. Strange," he argued, "but as a man eats, so is he. The
Frenchman eats frog, and he dances; the Italian eats macaroni and he
runs a hand organ; while the Briton as a regular diet takes beef-steak
and lion, so he wanders about, and--paints the world red.
"In less time than it took the old nations to build a city, the
inhabitants of the small British Isles had pre-empted more than
one-fifth of the surface of the planet, and were masters of the
affections of a fourth of the human race. But the noblest works
accomplished by this resistless people are now to be revealed, for the
admiration of my countrymen."
Here he turned on the great forty-foot sphere to an axial angle of
twenty-three degrees, well exposing the Southern Hemisphere. After
noticing the southern orifice--the back door of Symmes' Hole--and the
difference in the distribution of land and water near the respective
poles, he turned the globe so as to give a fair exposure of Australasia.
In Oseba's more cheerful demeanor, his more ready speech, and his
radiant countenance, there was a gleam of joy, and when once the full
import of this new scene was appreciated, there was a generous burst of
applause--Leo notes, "almost enthusiasm."
"This," said the sage Oseba, "is the 'Austral climes,' the last dry
dirt on the surface of Oliffa, wholly rescued from darkness and devoted
to civilisation.
"Its color indicates its social condition--it is civilised and free,
for on Oliffa, my children, 'red' is the emblem of hope. 'Painting the
world red,' means turning on the light, and John Bull always carries a
bucket of carmine--and he often has a 'brush.'"
Oseba said that in the whole inquiry he had endeavoured to follow
an example set, many centuries ago, by a Personage whose advice is
constantly quoted on Oliffa--and more constantly ignored--of keeping
the best to the last.
Australia was of old called an island, but as in area it about equalled
the United States of America, and almost that of Europe--having near
3,000,000 square miles--it was now regarded as a "continent," though it
had less than 4,000,000 people.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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