Old Bottleblue tipped me his flipper, and 'oped I'd 'refreshed,' and all that. [10] 'Wy rather,' sez I, 'wot do you think ?' at which he stared into his 'at, And went a bit red in the gills. Must ha' thought me a muggins, old man, [11] To ask sech a question of 'Arry--as though grabbing short was his plan. X I went the rounds proper, I tell yer; 'twas like the free run of a Bar, And Politics wants lots o' wetting. Don't ketch me perched up on a car, Or 'olding a flag-pole no more. No, percessions, dear boy, ain't my fad, But Political Picnics with fireworks, and plenty of swiz ain't 'arf bad. XI The palaver was sawdust and treacle. Old Bottleblue buzzed for a bit, And a sniffy young Wiscount in barnacles landed wot 'e thought a 'it; Said old Gladstone wos like Simpson's weapon, a bit of a hass and all jor, When a noisy young Rad in a wideawake wanted to give him what for! [12] XII Yah! boo! Turn 'im hout!' sings yours truly, a-thinkin' the fun was at 'and, But, bless yer! 'twas only a sputter. I can't say the meeting looked grand. Five thousand they reckoned us, Charlie, but if so I guess the odd three Were a-spooning about in the halley's, or lappin' up buns and Bohea. XIII The band and the 'opping wos prime though, and 'Arry in course wos all there. I 'ad several turns with a snappy young party with stror coloured 'air. Her name she hinfonned me wos Polly, and wen in my 'appiest style, I sez, 'Polly is nicer than Politics!' didn't she colour and smile? XIV We got back jest in time for the Fireworks, a proper flare-up, and no kid, Which finished that day's Demonstration, an' must 'ave cost many a quid. Wot fireworks and park-feeds do Demonstrate, Charlie, I'm blest if I see, And I'm blowed if I care a brass button, so long as I get a cheap spree. XV The patter's all bow-wow, of course, but it goes with the buns and the beer. If it pleases the Big-wigs to spout, wy it don't cost bus nothink to cheer. Though they ain't got the 'ang of it, Charlie, the toffs ain't--no go and no spice! Why, I'd back Barney Crump at our Singsong to lick 'em two times out o' twice! XVI Still I'm all for the Lords and their lot, Charlie. Rads are my 'error, you know. Change R into C and you've got 'em, and 'Arry 'ates anythink low. So if Demonstrations means skylarks, and lotion as much as you'll carry, These 'busts of spontanyous opinion' may reckon all round upon 'Arry. [1: sight] [2: nonsense] [3: talking] [4: walking] [5: eating; fools] [6: trousers] [7: prowl] [8: Notes] [9: catch] [10: shook hands] [11: face; fool] [12: something to talk about] "RUM COVES THAT RELIEVE US" [1887] [By HEINRICH BAUMANN in _Londonismen_]. I Rum coves that relieve us [1] Of clunkers and pieces, [2] Is gin'rally lagged, [3] Or wuss luck gets scragg'd. [4] II Are smashers and divers [5] And noble contrivers Not sold to the beaks [6] By the coppers an' sneaks? [7] III