I know that there is supposed to be a prejudice against the onion; but I
think there is rather a cowardice in regard to it. I doubt not that all
men and women love the onion; but few confess their love. Affection for
it is concealed. Good New-Englanders are as shy of owning it as they
are of talking about religion. Some people have days on which they eat
onions,--what you might call “retreats,” or their “Thursdays.” The act
is in the nature of a religious ceremony, an Eleusinian mystery; not a
breath of it must get abroad. On that day they see no company; they
deny the kiss of greeting to the dearest friend; they retire within
themselves, and hold communion with one of the most pungent and
penetrating manifestations of the moral vegetable world. Happy is said
to be the family which can eat onions together. They are, for the time
being, separate from the world, and have a harmony of aspiration. There
is a hint here for the reformers. Let them become apostles of the onion;
let them eat, and preach it to their fellows, and circulate tracts of it
in the form of seeds. In the onion is the hope of universal brotherhood.
If all men will eat onions at all times, they will come into a universal
sympathy. Look at Italy. I hope I am not mistaken as to the cause of her
unity. It was the Reds who preached the gospel which made it possible.
All the Reds of Europe, all the sworn devotees of the mystic Mary Ann,
eat of the common vegetable. Their oaths are strong with it. It is the
food, also, of the common people of Italy. All the social atmosphere of
that delicious land is laden with it. Its odor is a practical democracy.
In the churches all are alike: there is one faith, one smell. The
entrance of Victor Emanuel into Rome is only the pompous proclamation of
a unity which garlic had already accomplished; and yet we, who boast of
our democracy, eat onions in secret.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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