She was as cunning as a savage, and as treacherous as a wild
brute, and yet she was to all appearances a veritable saint, full
of suffering for the sins of humanity, and for the faults of her
husband who was “boyish and foolish, whom she had to manage,” and
whom she did control and handle with an iron rod.
There is no doubt, however, that she herself was driven by her
intense, uncontrollable impulse of self-preservation and by the
instinct of fear. What especially terrorized her was the slow but
sure _extension of the fear instinct to more and more objects and
acts_. The fear instinct kept on creeping on her, slowly choking
the life sources of her being. To call the patient “egocentric” is
a mild descriptive term,--“tigress,” “satan,” “fiend,” would be
more appropriate appellations. In her terror of self-preservation
she tormented herself and others. She was a firebrand from hell, a
firebrand fanned by the furies of self and fear.
F. W. Age 47; female, married; has no children. The patient claims
to have been an invalid from childhood; that she was of extremely
delicate health; she always had to take care of her health, and had
to go through all kinds of diseases, especially gastro-intestinal
troubles. At the age of eighteen she got married and then her
family felicity began. She began to complain of all kinds of
infirmities. The gynecologist humored her with operations and
treatments. The fear disease became strengthened, and finally she
cultivated a typical pathophobia; she was in terror of some fearful
malady that might possibly take possession of her.
The patient always wanted to have someone near her. This fear of
remaining alone dated from childhood, when at the least discomfort,
she asked and screamed in terror for help. A companion, or nurse
had to be with her day and night, so as to protect her from any
impending evil.
Occasionally, to relieve her feelings, in the middle of a
conversation, whether for the sake of impressing her family, her
husband or her physicians with the gravity of her disease, or as
a vent for the rising instinct of fear, she emitted a scream,
wild and weird, reminding one of the howling of a timber wolf, or
of a wild whoop of an Indian. This was a habit she kept up from
childhood. It was a reaction of her fears, and a protection, it was
a call for help which was sure to attract attention. The family
could not refuse help at hearing such an unearthly call. Later on,
it was consciously and unconsciously utilized by the patient as a
rod to rule the family and especially her husband, when the latter
happened to become refractory. The fear reaction was thus used as a
protection and as a weapon of defense.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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