Our Show: A Humorous Account of the International Exposition in Honor of the Centennial Anniversary of American Independence, from Inception to Completion, Including Description of Buildings, Biographies of Managers, Receptions of Foreign Dignitaries, Opening Ceremonies, Poem, Oration, Amusing Survey of All Departments, Incidents, Etc., Etc.Cohen, David Solis
History
Our Show: A Humorous Account of the International Exposition in Honor of the Centennial Anniversary of American Independence, from Inception to Completion, Including Description of Buildings, Biographies of Managers, Receptions of Foreign Dignitaries, Opening Ceremonies, Poem, Oration, Amusing Survey of All Departments, Incidents, Etc., Etc.
This was nothing! When we entered the building the international
surgeons came down upon us like--like--like “a wolf on the fold.” This
was the first case, and they were spoiling for a job. Our cousin looked
in their eager and varied faces, he gazed upon the assortment of cutlery
flashing around him--his lip quivered--he closed his eyes--and fainted.
In less than two seconds that
UNFORTUNATE COUNTRYMAN
would have been dissected, and the doctors engaged in mortal strife
above his severed limbs, had not a most diabolical uproar outside
suddenly distracted their attention.
We all rushed to the grounds, and a blood-freezing scene of terror met
our eyes.
[“LONE SHIRT” ON THE CHINESE QUESTION.]
Mr. Lone Shirt, Mr. Full o’ the Rye, and Man with the Seven Big Bunions,
Esq., the Chiefs of the Indian encampment, had been illustrating their
native customs by a sudden
RAID ON THE CHINESE LAUNDRY.
They had attired themselves in the napkins, towels, and nightcaps there
contained, painted themselves with the washing blue, burnt down the
building, and were just about finishing up things by scalping the
startled celestials when we burst out upon them. The Chinese doctors
took one glance at affairs, swallowed their lizards, and jumped into the
lake north of Machinery Hall.
The Exhibition Military, led by the Marine Cavalry, hurried towards the
fearful scene. Would they be in time? The tomahawks of the Indians were
raised, their hands grasped firmly the pigtails of their victims--when
suddenly--behold!--The savages grew rigid as though turned to stone,
motionless they stood with tomahawks still elevated, their hands still
pigtailentwisted--Oh providential chance!--They had swallowed the
starch contained in the laundry, and this stiffening was the fortuitous
result.
The managers released the half dead Chinamen, and pointed out to Messrs.
Lone Shirt, Full o’ the Rye, and Man with the Seven Big Bunions, the
impropriety of their conduct. When the chieftains thawed limber, they
promised solemnly not to repeat anything of the kind, and smoked the
liberty bell pipe with the laundrymen.
This incident saved our cousin’s life. When we returned to the hospital,
he had vanished, much to the sorrow and chagrin of the disappointed
M.D.’s.
We did not feel like returning to the Main Hall immediately after this.
We thought a stroll through Memorial Hall might be soothing to our
system, and so we took it.
Philadelphians familiar with that
CHAMBER OF HORRORS
in old Fairmount Park, which the Park Commissioners persist in styling
an Art Gallery, have been bred up to a proper appreciation of the
“pageant which rose like an exhalation” before our admiring eyes; upon
others, especially foreigners, the effect must have been tremendous.
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