Out of the Hurly-Burly; Or, Life in an Odd Corner — John Shaqi
Out of the Hurly-Burly; Or, Life in an Odd CornerClark, Charles Heber
General
Out of the Hurly-Burly; Or, Life in an Odd Corner
Clark, Charles Heber
American fiction -- 19th century; Humorous stories
We did not leave all the nuisances behind us in the city. Cooley's dog
and his boy are two very sore afflictions which make life even here very
much sadder than it ought to be in a place that pretends to be something
in the nature of an earthly paradise. The boy not only preys upon my
melon-patch and fruit trees and upon those of my neighbors, but he has
an extraordinary aptitude for creating a disturbance in whatever spot
he happens to be. Only last Sunday he caused such a terrible commotion
in church that the services had to be suspended for several minutes
until he could be removed. The interior of the edifice was painted and
varnished recently, and I suppose one of the workmen must have left a
clot of varnish upon the back of Cooley's pew, which is directly across
the aisle from mine. Cooley's boy was the only representative of the
family at church upon that day, and he amused himself during the earlier
portions of the service by kneeling upon the seat and communing with Dr.
Jones's boy, who occupied the pew immediately in the rear. Sometimes,
when young Cooley would resume a proper position, Jones's boy would stir
him up afresh by slyly pulling his hair, whereupon Cooley would wheel
about and menace Jones with his fist in a manner which betrayed utter
indifference to the proprieties of the place and the occasion, as well
as to the presence of the congregation. When Cooley finally sank into a
condition of repose, he placed his head, most unfortunately, directly
against the lump of undried varnish, while he amused himself by reading
the commandments and the other scriptural texts upon the wall behind the
pulpit.
[Illustration]
In a few moments he attempted to move, but the varnish had mingled with
his hair, and it held him securely. After making one or two desperate
but ineffectual efforts to release himself, he became very angry; and
supposing that Jones's boy was holding him, he shouted:
"Leg go o' my hair! Leg go o' my hair, I tell you!"
[Illustration]
The clergyman paused just as he was entering upon consideration of
"secondly," and the congregation looked around in amazement, in time to
perceive young Cooley, with his head against the back of the pew, aiming
dreadful blows over his shoulder with his fist at some unseen person
behind him. And with every thrust he exclaimed:
"I'll smash yer nose after church! I'll go for you, Bill Jones, when I
ketch you alone! Leg go o' my hair, I tell you, or I'll knock the
stuffin' out o' yer," etc., etc.
[Illustration]
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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