"This man who looks like me--I have no doubt it affects you
oddly--probably lives in ease; never knew what a buffet meant, never
knew what a care was, has everything he wants; in fact, a gentleman of
your own class, whose likes and dislikes are cut from the same pattern
as your own. Well, that is as it should be. A woman such as you are
ought to marry an equal, a man whose mind and manners are fitted to the
high place he holds in your affection and in your world. How many
worlds there are, man-made and heaven-made, and each as deadly as the
other, as cold and implacable! To you, who have been kind to me, I
have acted like a fool. The truth is, I've been skulking. My vanity
was hurt. I had the idea that it was myself and not my resemblance
that appealed to your interest. What makes you trust me?" bluntly; and
he stopped as he asked the question.
"Why, I don't know," blankly. Instantly she recovered herself. "But I
do trust you." She walked on, and perforce he fell into her stride.
"It is because you trust the other man."
"Thanks. That is it precisely; and for nearly two weeks I've been
trying to solve that very thing."
After a pause he asked: "Have you ever read Reade's _Singleheart and
Doubleface_?"
"Yes. But what bearing has it upon our discussion?"
"None that you would understand," evasively. His tongue had nearly
tripped him.
"Are you sure?"
"Of this, that I shall never understand women."
"Do not try to," she advised. "All those men who knew most about women
were the unhappiest."
They made a round in silence. Passengers were beginning to get into
their deck-chairs; and Elsa noted the backs of the many novels that
ranged from the pure chill altitudes of classic and demi-classics down
to the latest popular yarn. Many an eye peered over the tops of the
books; and envy and admiration and curiosity brought their shafts to
bear upon her. It was something to create these variant expressions of
interest. She was oblivious.
"We stop at Penang?" she asked.
"Five or six hours, long enough to see the town."
"We went directly from Singapore to Colombo, so we missed the town
coming out. I should like to see that cocoanut plantation of yours."
"It is too far inland. Besides, I am a _persona non grata_ there."
As, indeed, he was. His heart burned with shame and rage at the
recollection of the last day there. Three or four times, during the
decade, the misfortune of being found out had fallen to his lot, and
always when he was employed at something worth while.
Elsa discreetly veered into another channel. "You will go back to
Italy, I suppose. How cheaply and delightfully one may live there,
when one knows something of the people! I had the Villa Julia one
spring. You know it; Sorrento. Is there anything more stunning than
oranges in the rain?" irrelevantly.
"Yes, I shall go to Italy once more. But first I am going home." He
was not aware of the grimness that entered his voice as he made this
statement.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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