He reasoned with himself; he fought with himself. It was too monstrous
that a chance which could never occur again could be allowed to slip
by. Long ago had he made up his mind what to do in the case of the
King’s coming to his inn. And here was the King upstairs; and here was
he going over the well-trodden ground again, reviewing all his settled
conclusions, when every minute was of the first importance. Any moment
the King might turn his back on the “Sea Rover” forever. Yes, he would
cast out the qualm that was debasing his mind. It was sapping all its
vigorous faculties. But try as he might, he could not do so. It was
ingrained in the very marrow of his brain.
Minute by minute his chances were ticking away. Had he only had the
strength of purpose to permit Joseph to start on his errand, he would
have been halfway there by now! The malady that was besetting him
had never come upon him before. It was the most singular he had ever
experienced, or even heard of. It had already caused him to act in a
manner for him unparalleled. To keep Joseph back for no cause whatever
was, the poor landlord considered, the act of a madman. It was so
entirely opposed to reason; never before had he been blind to its
dictates.
He called for his fifth glass of hot rum-and-water. By God! if he could
not do it sober, he would do it drunk! To think that he was throwing
away a fortune without the least reason for doing so! Again he got up
and began to hobble unsteadily about the kitchen floor. He began to
pant, to gasp; the sweat poured out of him, although the weather was
still bitterly cold. Was he the master of his own mind, or was he not?
That was what the whole thing amounted to. Had he lived to be sixty ere
he put that question for the first time? But he would answer it.
Yes; he would answer it. He tossed off the sixth glass. The tremor was
not quite so distinct in his brain. He felt a little stronger. He must
stiffen every nerve of his resolution. Never mind the sweat shining on
his forehead, his agitated breast, or his trembling flabby hands. He
was slowly getting his teeth upon the bit; he was getting some control
over this strange insanity.
The seventh glass, and he triumphed. It was a hard-won struggle; none
harder. But at last, as the shadows of the wintry evening came stealing
down the rocks, and Cicely lit the first candle, the struggle came to
an end. Each individual nerve in Gamaliel’s body rioted within him; he
was as unsubstantial as pulp; but at last his resolution was running
clear and strong. The little flickering tremor that had a thousand
times routed it and put it to shame was now dead. Hot rum-and-water had
ultimately done its business. The crisis was past. He was master of
himself after all.
In a voice so hoarse it resembled the croak of a raven, he summoned his
son a second time.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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