Paul Gosslett's Confessions in Love, Law, and The Civil ServiceLever, Charles
General
Paul Gosslett's Confessions in Love, Law, and The Civil Service
Lever, Charles
Fiction
From the doctor down to the humblest menial all were to be under my
sway; and as the establishment numbered above a hundred officials, the
command was extensive, if not very dignified. I will own, frankly, I
was out of myself with joy at the prospect; nor could all the lowering
suggestions of my uncle, and the vulgar cautions he instilled, prevent
my feeling delighted with my good fortune. I need not say what resolves
I made; what oaths I registered in my own heart to be a good and
faithful steward, and while enjoying to the full the happiness of my
fortunate existence, to neglect no item of the interests confided to me.
All that I had imagined or dreamed of the place itself was as nothing to
the reality; nor shall I ever forget the sense of overwhelming delight
in which I stood on the crest of the hill that looked down over the
wooded glen and winding river, the deep-bosomed woods, the wandering
paths of lawn or of moss, the gently flowing stream in which the castle,
with its tall towers, was tremblingly reflected, seemed to me like a
princely possession, and, for once, I thought that Paul Gosslett had
become the favorite child of fortune, and asked myself what had I done
to deserve such luck as this?
If habit and daily use deaden the pangs of suffering, and enable us to
bear with more of patience the sorrows of adverse fortune, they, on the
other hand, serve to dull the generous warmth of that gratitude we first
feel for benefits, and render us comparatively indifferent to enjoyments
which, when first tasted, seemed the very ecstasy of bliss. I am sorry
to make this confession; sorry to admit that after some months at
“Lahneck,” I was, although very happy and satisfied, by no means so much
struck by the beauty of the place and the loveliness of the scenery as
on my first arrival, and listened to the raptures of the newcomers
with a sort of compassionate astonishment. Not but I was proud of
the pretentious edifice, proud of its lofty towers and battlemented
terraces, its immense proportion, and splendid extent. It was, besides,
a complete success as an enterprise. We were always full; applications
for rooms poured in incessantly, and when persons vacated their
quarters, any change of mind made restitution impossible. I believed
I liked the despotism I exercised; it was a small, commonplace sort
of sovereignty over bath-men and kitchen-folk, it is true; but in the
extent of my command I discovered a kind of dignity, and in the implicit
obedience and deference I felt something like princely sway.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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