Piccadilly: A Fragment of Contemporary BiographyOliphant, Laurence
General
Piccadilly: A Fragment of Contemporary Biography
Oliphant, Laurence
Piccadilly (London, England) -- Fiction
"Yes," he said, "in which she encloses a copy of one of yours containing
a proposal to Lady Ursula, and informs me that you were aware, when you
made it, of the difficulties you might have to encounter through me. She
goes on to say that, whatever may have been her daughter's feelings
towards me at one time, they have completely changed, as she at once
accepted you; and she winds up with the rather unnecessary remark that
this is the less to be regretted by me, as under no circumstances would
I have obtained either her consent or that of Lord Broadhem. And so," my
poor friend went on, but his lips were quivering, and I turned away my
eyes to avoid seeing the effort it cost him--"and so, you see, my dear
Frank, it is all for the best. In the first place, she never loved me. I
have too high an opinion of her to suppose that if she had, she would
have accepted you; in the second, she would never have married me
against her mother's consent--and so, even if she had loved me, we
should have both been miserable; and thirdly, if there is one thing that
could console me under such a blow, it is, that the man she loves, and
the family approve, is my dear old friend, who is far more worthy the
happiness in store for him than I should have been." He put his hand
kindly on my shoulder as his strong voice shook with the force of his
suppressed emotion, and I bowed my head. I felt utterly humiliated by a
magnanimity so noble, and by a tenderness surpassing that of women. I
thanked God at that moment that Lady Ursula did _not_ love me, and I
vowed that Lady Broadhem should bitterly expiate her sins against us
both. Here, then, was the secret of her refusing to acknowledge that she
had stolen my missing letter at Dickiefield, and this was the precious
use she had made of it. The question now was, What was to be done? But
my mind was paralysed--all its strength seemed expended in vowing
vengeance against Lady Broadhem. When I tried to form a sentence of
explanation to Grandon, my brain refused its functions; I felt as if I
were in a net, and that the slightest movement on my part would entangle
me more inextricably in its meshes. The last resolution I had come to
before he entered the room was on no account to tell him anything, and
this resolution had now become an _idée fixe_. I had not clearness of
mind at the moment to decide whether it was right or wrong. I felt that
when my head was clear I had come to the conclusion that it was best, so
I stuck to it now. True, it involved leaving him in the delusion that
Ursula and I were engaged--but was it altogether certain to remain a
delusion? Did Lady Ursula really care for him? I had only Lady
Broadhem's word for it. Again, had I anything better to give him? would
it be a comfort to him to hear the Chundango alternative? These in a
confused way were the thoughts which flitted across my brain in this
moment of doubt and difficulty, so I said nothing. He misinterpreted my
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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