Pray You, Sir, Whose Daughter?Gardener, Helen H. (Helen Hamilton)
General
Pray You, Sir, Whose Daughter?
Gardener, Helen H. (Helen Hamilton)
Fiction
Was she not a human being? Were there not more reasons than one why
another human unit should be kind to her and help her? If she were a boy
all this shame would be lifted from her shoulders, all these suspicions
and repression and artificial barriers would be gone. She wondered
if she could not get a suit of men's clothes, and so solve the whole
trouble. No one would then question her own right of individual and
independent action or thought. No one would then think it commendable
for her to be a useless atom, subordinating her whole individuality to
one man, to whose mental and moral tone she must bend her own, until
such time as he should turn her over to some other human entity,
whereupon she would be required to readjust all her mental and moral
belongings to accommodate the new master. How comfortable it would be,
she thought, to go right on year after year, growing into and out of
herself. Expanding her own nature, and finding the woman of to-morrow
the outcome of the girl of yesterday. She had once heard a teacher
explain about the chameleon with its capacity to adjust itself to and
take on the color of other objects. It floated into her mind that
girls were expected to be like chameleons. Instead of being John King's
daughter, with, of course, John King's ideas, status and aspirations, or
William Jones's wife--now metamorphosed into a tepid reflex of William
Jones himself--she thought how pleasant it would be to continue to be
Francis King, and not feel afraid to say so. The idea fascinated her.
Yes, she would get a suit of men's clothes, and henceforth have and feel
the dignity of individual responsibility and development. She slipped
out of the room and into the street. She thought she would order the
clothes as if "for a brother just my size." She could pay for a cheap
suit. She paused in front of a shop window, and the sight of her own
face in a glass startled her. She groaned aloud. She knew as she looked
that she was too handsome to pass for a man. It was a woman's face.
Then, too, how could she live with and care for Ettie? "No, _I'll_
have to go to _them_ for help," she said, desperately to herself, and
turning, faced Selden Avery coming across the street. The color flew
into her face, but she saw at a glance that he did not think of their
last meeting--or, at least, not of its ending. "I was just wishing I
could see you and Miss Gertrude," she said, bluntly, her courage coming
back when he paused, recognizing that she wished to speak further with
him than a mere greeting.
"Were you?" he said, smiling. "Our thoughts were half-way the same then,
for I was wishing to see her, too."
She thought how pleasant and soft his voice was, and she tried to modify
the tones of her own.
"I was goin't' ask you--her--what to do about--about something," she
said, falteringly.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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