‘If you can stand any more of the menagerie to-night come to dinner with us at eight.’ We accepted, and arrived fairly punctually, to find Ophelia and Jacob in possession of the private sitting-room. Freddy of course was late. ‘O, Mr. O’Rossa,’ she began as Squiff advanced towards her, ‘do tell me all about your daily provocations at Oxford.’ ‘That’s rather a large order, Miss Bugg,’ said Squiff smilingly, ‘where shall I begin?’ ‘At the very beginning, please,’ she said, ‘say at your early morning Church.’ ‘Well, Miss Bugg,’ said Squiff, ‘you give me an account of how you think we spend our day, and I’ll correct you if you go wrong.’ ‘Very well. I’ve read such a lot about Oxford you know, I always took such an interest in the dear Collegiates. I hear you rise at seven thirty, and then all those boys who have lodgings within the walls go to Church at eight, and afterwards a Parthian breakfast with your friends; now tell me,’ she continued, ‘I am so interested in all these things, do you perform your abductions at home or are there public baths? And then,’ she went on, giving us no time to think what she meant, ‘from 9 to 1 you attend the Professors, and the afternoon is spent in some form of aesthetics, or anthropological research. At seven you have dinner, and they tell me that the food is plentiful but bad;’ ‘hear! hear!’ I remarked; she beamed and continued, ‘I’ve looked in Verdant Green and the Student’s guide to Oxford, but I can’t get a clear idea of how you spend your evenings.’ ‘Chiefly in study,’ began Squiff solemnly, when he was interrupted by a roar from Freddy, whose face appeared round the door. ‘What ho, Ophelia!’ he cried, as he came into the room; ‘On the go again? Don’t you believe all they tell you.’ ‘On the contrary,’ I interrupted, as Ophelia began a protest. ‘Miss Bugg was instructing us.’ ‘Your remark is somewhat exiguous, Mr. Cocklin,’ began the Bugg, when the inner door opened gently and Lady Blitherington sailed in. ‘Good evening, Frederick,’ she said, and bowed to us, ‘I am glad you’re more punctual than usual; poor dear Hophni used to say that if your Uncle William had only been more punctual he might have risen to be a credit to the family.’ ‘Rather an unlikely contingency,’ remarked Freddy after we had put the ladies into the lift, ‘considering that the old scoundrel drove his wife into an asylum and then eloped to New York with a milliner’s assistant.’ ‘I suppose you’ve instructed Ophelia in all the Oxford customs,’ remarked the dowager as she sat down. ‘She doesn’t need any instructions,’ replied Squiff with a bow towards the Bugg, ‘she’s read all the best authorities, Lady Blitherington.’ ‘By the way, Aunt,’ said Freddy suddenly, ‘I’ve just had a wire from Maisie, she and Muriel are coming here on Thursday for a week, isn’t it jolly?’