Lesbians -- Fiction; Psychological fiction; Women teachers -- Fiction
"You've answered it already? Well! And the weeks I've had to wait
sometimes."
"This was such a charming letter," said Clare smoothly. "It deserved an
answer. She really has the quaintest style. And Alwynne--never a blot or
a flourish! It's a pleasure to read."
Alwynne laughed ruefully. She would always squirm good-humouredly under
Clare's pin-pricks, with such amusement at her own discomfiture that
Clare never knew whether to fling away her needle for good, or, for the
mere experiment's sake, to stab hard and savagely. At that stage of
their intimacy, Alwynne's guilelessness invariably charmed and disarmed
her--she knew that it would take a very crude display of cruelty to make
Alwynne believe that she was being hurt intentionally. Clare was amused
by the novel pedestal upon which she had been placed; she was accustomed
to the panoply of Minerva, or the bow of Diana Huntress, but she had
never before been hailed as Bona Dea. It tickled her to be endowed with
every domestic virtue, to be loved, as Alwynne loved her, with the
secure and fearless affection of a daughter for a newly-discovered and
adorable young mother. She appreciated Alwynne's determination of their
relationship, her nice sense of the difference in age, her modesty in
reserving any claim to an equality in their friendship, her frank and
affectionate admiration--yet, while it pleased her, it could pique. Calm
comradeship or surrendering adoration she could cope with, but the
subtle admixture of such alien states of mind was puzzling. She had
acquired a lover with a sense of humour and she felt that she had her
hands full. Her imperious will would, in time, she knew, eliminate
either the lover or the humour--it annoyed her that she was not as yet
quite convinced that it would be the humour. She intended to master
Alwynne, but she realised that it would be a question of time, that she
would give her more trouble than the children to whom she was
accustomed. Alwynne's utter unrealisation of the fact that a trial of
strength was in progress, was disconcerting: yet Clare, jaded and
super-subtle, found her innocence endearing. Without relaxing in her
purpose, she yet caught herself wondering if an ally were not better
than a slave. But the desire for domination was never entirely shaken
off, and Alwynne's free bearing was in itself an ever-present challenge.
Clare loved her for it, but her pride was in arms. It was her misfortune
not to realise that, for all her Olympian poses, she had come to love
Alwynne deeply and enduringly.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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