Sheppard Lee, Written by Himself. Vol. 1 (of 2)Bird, Robert Montgomery
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Sheppard Lee, Written by Himself. Vol. 1 (of 2)
Bird, Robert Montgomery
American fiction -- 19th century; Satire
I perceived, from the repulse I had received from Jim Jumble, that it
now became me to sink his old master altogether, which I was very well
content to do, and resolved accordingly; although I could not help
thinking, as I strode over the forty-acre farm, how much satisfaction I
should have, now that I was a rich man, in putting it into fine order.
But these thoughts were soon driven from my mind by Ponto making a set
at some game, and in a moment I was banging away, right and left, and
slaughtering the birds in the finest style imaginable.
Oh, the delights of shooting woodcock! It is rather hot work, though,
of a midsummer day; and notwithstanding the prodigious satisfaction I
had in pursuing the sport, I felt that my satisfaction would have been
still greater, had I been a few stone lighter. I began to think Squire
Higginson's fat rather inconvenient; and I had the same opinion of a
touch of asthma, or something of that nature, which I found in his
lungs; and, besides, there was a sort of whizzing, and humming, and
spinning in my head, where they had been all the morning which were not
altogether agreeable.
In consequence of these infirmities of my new body, I began, after a
while, to weary of the sport; and was just on the point of setting
off to the village to get my dinner, when a crowd of men made their
appearance in the marsh, and setting up a great shout at sight of
me, began to run towards me. I could not conceive the cause of such
a concourse, nor could I imagine for what reason they directed their
steps towards me; but hearing them utter the most furious cries, and
perceiving that a multitude of dogs they had with them were rushing
against me, as if to devour me, I was seized with alarm, and began to
retreat towards a wood that was not far off.
This evidence of terror on my part only caused the people to utter
louder and more savage cries, besides setting the dogs to running
faster; and these ferocious animals gaining upon me, and being on the
point of tearing me to pieces, I was obliged to let fly my piece among
them, whereby I shot one dead, and disabled two or three others. I then
defended myself with the breech of my gun, until the men came up; one
of whom tripped up my heels, while the others seized and disarmed me,
crying out "that I was a murderer; that I was found out, and should be
hanged, if there was any law in the county."
I was confounded at this charge; but how much greater was my amazement,
when I understood, as they haled me along towards the village, which
they did very roughly, that I was accused of having murdered Sheppard
Lee--that is, my own identical self!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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