"I have!" said Jonathan, with great fervour. "Heaven made women to be loved, and I love them--especially Ellen Wild!" "Sure," said I, "I have heard that name?" "Sure," said Jonathan, "it would be odd if thee had not; for thee knows her well--thine old friend Ebenezer's daughter." "A giddy girl, Jonathan, I fear me; a giddy girl!" "As giddy as the dev--that is, as giddy as a goose," said Jonathan. "What!" said I; "thee meant something worse! Verily, I have heard thee uses bad language, Jonathan." "By jingo!" said the youth, indignantly, "there is no end to the slanders people will say of one. _I_ use bad language? By jingo!" "Why, thee is at it now," said I; "let thy yea be yea, and thy nay nay; for all beyond is profanity or folly. But thee will allow, Jonathan, that when thee is among the people of the world, thee uses the language thereof, forgetting the language of simplicity and sobriety, which would best become thy lips?" "Ay; there I plead guilty, and with good reason too," said Jonathan. "When I was a boy, thee had thoughts of making me a merchant, and thee compelled me to study French and German. Now, when I meet a Frenchman or a German unacquainted with the English tongue, in what language does thee suppose I address him?" "Why, French or German, to be sure." "Verily, I do," said the youth; "and when I get among the people of the world, I speak to them in the language of the world; for, poor ignorant creatures, they don't understand Quaker. Moreover, uncle, does thee know Ellen Wild is of opinion we Friends don't speak good grammar? Now she and I spent a whole hour the other evening, trying to parse '_thee is_,' '_thee does_,' '_thee loves_,' and so on, and we could not work them according to Murray. I say, uncle, does thee know of any command in Scripture to speak bad grammar?" "No," said I; "but it is not forbidden; and the phrases mentioned, thou knowest, have crept into our speech as corruptions, and are only used for conversational purposes." "Truly," said Jonathan, "and the language of the world is used for conversational purposes also. I say, uncle Zachariah, _that_ now's a clincher!" "I won't quarrel with thee on this account, Jonathan. But how comes it thou wert seen in that wicked place, the theatre?" "By jingo!" said he, "Snipe has been blabbing there too!" "What!" said I, "does thou strive to conceal it?" "Yea," said Jonathan; "for when we do our good deeds, we should do them in secret. Uncle Zachariah, I went to the theatre in charity." "Thee did," said I, charmed more than I can express at the thought of the young man's virtue.