Charles Napier in 1830 was to all human eyes a ruined man. He was close
upon the fiftieth year of his age. He was miserably poor; he had a sick
wife and two young children to maintain. "Worse than all," he writes, "I
have no home, and my purse is nearly empty; verily all this furnishes
food for thought." And bitter food it must have been. He was out of
employment and under a cloud, for authority, often ready to justify its
own injustice, was eager to use its powerful batteries of unofficial
condemnation, to hint its doubts and hesitate its dislikes, and find
reason for former neglect in this new proof of "temper neutralising
brilliant qualities," or of "insubordination rendering promotion
impossible." No employment, no home, no money, life's prime gone; toil,
service, wounds, disease, all fruitless; and worse than all to such a
nature, the tactless sympathy of the ordinary friend, and the
scarce-veiled joy of the ordinary acquaintance--for the military
profession is perhaps of necessity the one in which the weed of jealousy
grows quickest, and nowhere else does the "down" of one man mean so
thoroughly the "up" of another. When the shell takes the head off "poor
Brown" it does not carry away his shoes, and Jones is somewhere near to
step into them.
Failure at fifty is terrible. The sand in the hour-glass of life is
crumbling very fast away; the old friends of childhood are gone; a
younger generation press us from behind; the next turn of the road may
bring us in sight of the end. We have seen in the preceding chapters the
extraordinary energy of Charles Napier in action. We shall now follow
his life for ten years through absolute non-employment, and our
admiration will grow when we find him still bearing himself bravely in
the night of neglect, still studying the great problems of life, still
keeping open heart to all generous sympathies, and never permitting the
"slings and arrows of outrageous fortune" to drive him into the regions
of apathy, callousness, or despair.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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