The king who died in this house was that young Dane who appears to have
been an incarnation of the ideal Danish brutality. He dragged his
brother's body out of its grave and flung it into the Thames; he
massacred the people of Worcester and ravaged the shire; and he did
these brave deeds and many others all in two short years. Then he went
to his own place. His departure was both fitting and dramatic. For one
so young it showed with what a yearning and madness he had been
drinking. He went across the river--there was, I repeat, no other house
in Lambeth except this, so that it must have been here--to attend the
wedding of his standard-bearer, Tostig the Proud, with Goda, daughter of
the Thane Osgod Clapa, whose name survives in his former estate of
Clapham. A Danish wedding was always an occasion for hard drinking,
while the minstrels played and sang and the mummers tumbled. When men
were well drunken the pleasing sport of bone throwing began: they threw
the beef bones at each other. The fun of the game consisted in the
accident of a man not being able to dodge the bone which struck him, and
probably killed him. Archbishop Alphege was thus killed. The soldiers
had no special desire to kill the old man: why couldn't he enter into
the spirit of the game and dodge the bones? As he did not, of course he
was hit, and as the bone was a big and a heavy bone, hurled by a
powerful hand, of course it split open his skull. One may be permitted
to think that perhaps King Hardacnut, who is said to have fallen down
suddenly when he 'stood up to drink,' did actually intercept a big beef
bone which knocked him down; and as he remained comatose until he died,
the proud Tostig, unwilling to have it said that even in sport his king
had been killed at his wedding, gave out that the king fell down in a
fit. This, however, is speculation.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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