the degeneracy of the times, and thought it hard that the descendant of such a fighting family should be doomed to pass through life peaceably, whilst so many excellent rows and riots took place around him. It was a calamity to see every man’s head broken but his own; a dismal thing to observe his neighbours go about with their bones in bandages, yet his untouched, and his friends beat black and blue, whilst his own cuticle remained unscoloured. “Blur an’ agers!” exclaimed Neal one day, when half tipsy in the fair, “am I never to get a bit o’ figtin’? Is there no cowardly spalpeen to stand afore Neal Malone? Be this an’ be that, I’m blue-mowlded for want of a batin’! I’m disgracin’ my relations by the life I’m ladin’! Will none o’ ye fight me aither for love, money, or whisky, frind or inimy, an’ bad luck to ye? I don’t care a traneen which, only out o’ pure frindship, let us have a morsel o’ the rale kick-up, ’t any rate. Frind or inimy, I say agin, if you regard me; sore _that_ makes no differ, only let us have the fight.” This excellent heroism was all wasted; Neal could not find a single adversary. Except he divided himself like Hotspur, and went to buffets one hand against the other, there was no chance of a fight; no person to be found sufficiently magnanimous to encounter the tailor. On the contrary, every one of his friends--or, in other words, every man in the parish--was ready to support him. He was clapped on the back until his bones were nearly dislocated in his body, and his hand shaken until his arm lost its cunning at the needle for half a week afterward. This, to be sure, was a bitter business, a state of being past endurance. Every man was his friend--no man was his enemy. A desperate position for any person to find himself in, but doubly calamitous to a martial tailor.